


Our Life Is Comedy

by Emeryuu



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Background Relationships, Brothers, Everybody Lives, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Happy Endings For Everyone, Humor, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-02-25 15:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2626061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emeryuu/pseuds/Emeryuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We are not protagonists of a novel or anything... We are four brothers living together like you could find anywhere... But... If, for argument's sake, you were to write a story with us in the lead roles... It would certainly be... A comedy.</p><p>A story about Kaneki-Sasaki family. Four brothers living together in Tokyo - it can't be a normal hausehold if we put three half-ghouls with somehow violence tendencies and one always daydreaming human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bills, Screaming And Centipede

**Author's Note:**

> Because "Tokyo Ghoul" brings too much tears to my life I decided to write this.
> 
> it's just what I imagined when I thought about all versions of Kaneki and Haise being brothers. I'm going to try to turn all (or most of them) sad/dramatic moments in manga into something funny.
> 
> And I thing I should explain. To make difference between Kanekis I named them: Shiro, Kuro and Ken (i didn't have much work with the last :D). And so actual parings will be: Shiro/Rize, Kuro/Shuu and Ken/Hide. I'm not going to focus on romance but I think it will just go with the flow xd. Rest of their background will be explained through the story :). But ask me anything if you are confused or curious ;)
> 
> As always, English is not my native language, so forgive me mistakes, but please point them to me, so I can improve :)
> 
> I hope You'll like it :)

“Shiro Kaneki! Come here right now!” Haise was screaming since he entered the house. “I know you are in your room. There’s no point in hiding. And don’t even think about escaping through the window!” 

Man didn’t wait for an answer. He went straight to stairs, up and then barged in the first room on left. There he found boy he was looking for. White haired college student was lying on his bed with headphones listening to music without care for the world.  
“Shiro!” Haise snarled angrily. “Turn off the music and explain yourself”  
“Ah~ Hai-chan. I’m happy to see you too. What exactly should I explain? I’m sure I was a good boy this past…” He paused to look at the clock and then continued “four hours.”  
“Ha? What the hell did you do four hours ago? No, don’t answer! I don’t even want to know. I mean this! Who is Uta and why did he sent you bill for a tattoo?” Haise asked.  
“Oh, it was delivered already? I was sure I’ll get a hold of it before you do. Well~ If there’s no point in hiding it, I’ll be honest.” Shiro smiled a smile that sent shivers down Haise’s backbone. He knew he’s going to not like the next part. “I got myself a tattoo. And as you can see we have to pay for it. Please, take care of it, Hai-chan” said Shiro.  
“Wha-? What tattoo? Are you kidding? Just… Hold on. I don’t… I don’t get it, Shiro” Haise was lost. He fell on the nearest chair without strength.  
“It’s not that hard to understand, dear brother. I felt like getting one and I happen to have a friend who is an tattoo artist aside from making masks for ghouls. So I asked him for a favor. Now, look”

Teenager got up from bed and turned away from brother. He took off his shirt to show his tattoo. On his muscular back there was a big red centipede. It was placed on his left shoulder blade just like it was climbing up to his arm. Haise was left speechless.  
“What do you think? Cool, isn’t it?” Shiro was proud. “My kagune resembles centipede and I like insects so I thought it suits me well. So?”  
His eyes were sparkling and Haise couldn’t find words to scold him more. He just sighted in defeat.  
“Yeah, Shiro, it looks great.” He got up and ruffled his brother’s hair before leaving. “But next time please tell me about things like that in advance. I almost had a heart attack!”  
“Does that mean I can get more tattoos?”  
“NO! Never! Don’t even try or I personally remove them from your skin with Yukimura!”  
“Jeez, Hai-chan! I was joking! Joking! Hey, what are you doing with your kagune? Hai-chan…”

Downstairs, in kitchen, two teenagers where having a nice talk and drinking some coffee while listening to screams from above them.  
“I told him it won’t go as smooth as he predicted.” Kuro was disappointed. He hoped his twin was smarter than that. Never in their lives they managed to deceive their older brother. Haise knew them too well.  
“Does that mean you knew Kuro-nii?” asked Ken. “If aniki finds out, you are dead too.”  
“Of coure I knew. Shiro can’t keep anything from me. He told before he got that tattoo. Actually, I was with him in Uta-san’s studio. And Haise-nii won’t find out if you don’t say anything” said boy with an eyepatch.  
“I won’t… But I don’t like it. I mean, it’s not fair to keep secrets form aniki.” Black haired teen wasn’t convicted.  
“Look at it like that, it’s not a wrong thing if you don’t tell him something he doesn’t ask for, right?” said Kuro. He didn’t like to manipulate his brother, but Ken was sometimes too pure for the real life. And it’ good to put in use skills he learned at college. In the end he wants to be lawyer, he has to practice.  
“Hm… Maybe… You are right, Kuro-nii. Okay, I’ll be quiet” Ken nodded with smile.

After a few minutes of silence Haise appeared in kitchen.  
“Hi, guys! How was your day?” he asked in cheerful tone.  
“Good. I just had one lecture about roman law. Nothing special happened” answered Kuro. “But Ken had more adventures” he added.  
“Kuro-nii! It’s not funny!” black haired teen pouted  
“Really? What happened, Ken?” Haise asked. He loved listening to his youngest brother. He always had something interesting to say.  
Most of people thought he’s always daydreaming but the true is, that Ken notice things others would miss. But he is clumsy and naïve so often he ends in trouble. Or strange situations. Like when he was taken by stranger to a concert of heavy metal band and he spent whole night there even though he doesn’t listen to this kind of music. Haise and twins were ready to call Arima to make CCG look for their family’s youngest.  
“Umm… I started in the morning. I was at the station waiting for a train when…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ^ _ ^
> 
> If you enjoyed my work, please leave a comment or kudo :)


	2. Nice Dinner In Great Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is :)
> 
> a bit longer than first chapter :D
> 
> Thank you for all kudos and comments. I didn't expect this :D
> 
> Some expalantion: Kanekis and Sasaki can eat normal food (but they need human meat to use their ghoul powers). I decided that if I can make them all brothers, then why not let them eat some normal food, right? After all, they did nothing worng.
> 
> WARNING: swearing on Shiro's and Urie's part.

Ken and twins knew something was going on when they woke up on Saturday and found Haise cleaning up whole house. Their oldest brother usually ordered them to do it. But here he was, tiding the sitting room and humming to himself.  
“Oshiete oshiete yo sono shikumi wo…” Haise turned around dramatically and continued without noticing three spectators “…boku no naka ni dare ga iru no?”  
Shiro couldn’t stand it. “Brother dearest, let me ask nicely. What the hell are you doing? And no, I’m not talking about cleaning” he said.  
“Shiro-nii, that was rude. We know aniki wouldn’t be able to sing to save his life but you don’t have to be so mean” Ken stated with innocence all over his face.  
“Cut it you two… Three actually, because I’m sure Kuro was going to add something. It’s not time for your jokes, guys” Sasaki tried to hide his embarrassment.  
“I haven’t said anything yet” protested Kuro.  
“We’ll be having guests today” oldest man ignored black haired boy. “My subordinates, Qiunx quad members are coming over for dinner.”  
“Ohhh, so we finally are going to meet those guys you are mentor to? About time, Hai-chan.”  
“Whatever you are planning to do, Shiro, stop it right now.” Haise knew how dangerous was his younger brother.  
“Um, aniki, is Arima-san coming too? And Akira-san and Amon-san?” asked Ken.  
“No, just Qinx. And we can as well talk about it now. Sit down.”

Haise waited for his brothers to sit down on the couch. The be started pacing in front of them thinking about something.  
“I want to ask you… No this is going to be an order. You are going to behave today, do you understand?” When silence answered him he repeated “Do you understand? I’m not going embarrass myself in front of them because of your antics. I’m serious here, you could even say that I’m being sasarious.”  
“Yes, nii-san”  
“As you wish, Hai-chan”  
“You d-don’t have to worry, aniki”  
“That’s good” oldest brother smiled. “But, just to be sure. Shiro, you are not allowed to make rude comments, especially about Tooru. He’s sensitive and I don’t want to see him upset. Actually, don’t talk unless you are asked directly or you won’t have other choice. And, the most important. I forbid you, talking about or showing your tattoo. ”  
White haired boy sulked when he heard last sentence but nodded in agreement.  
“Kuro, don’t encourage your twin to do something stupid. I know I don’t have to worry about you but you let Shiro do as he wants too much. I count on you to make our guests comfortable.”  
“Yes, nii-san. I’ll try my best.”  
“Great, thank you. And Ken. I’d like you to… Ken? Ken!”  
Said boy was staring out the window observing cats in garden across the street. He wasn’t paying attention to his brother.  
“Takastuki’s new novel is on sale today!” screamed Haise right into his ear. That worked because he didn’t have to wait long for reaction from teen.  
“I need to go to the bookstore!” Ken yelled and was going to get up and leave but realized that his brothers were staring at him with various expressions. One with disappointment, second – with exasperation and third with amusement.  
“Ken, I was talking to you. Could you listen for a minute?”  
“Yes, aniki. I’m sorry, aniki.” Ken felt blush creeping on his face.  
“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Sasaki sighted and ruffled his hair. He couldn’ get angry at his brothers no matter what. Akira liked to point that was his soft side showing itself.  
“I want to ask you for one thing. Try to keep you attention on our guests and take part in talks. I’m sure you’d be great friends with Tooru.”  
“I-I’ll do it, aniki. No need to worry.  
“ I really mean it, guys. My subordinates don’t like me very much except Mutsuki. I want to make our relationship better so I thought that meeting outside work may help.”

Twins noticed something was off with the way Haise said that.  
“What do you mean, nii-san”  
“Well, it’s a long story and I shouldn’t talk about it with you. It’s CCG matter. To say shortly, they don’t actually see me as superior and try to act without reporting to me. But it’s okay, I’m going to fix it”  
Sasaki didn’t notice how twins’ faces changed hearing this. He just went back to cleaning.

“Hai-chan is too soft sometimes” stated Shiro when he came to his room with Kuro following him. “He should just show them who is the boss there”.  
“It’s not like that softness rescued your ass many times at all” answered his brother.  
“That’s something different. And I’m not the only one! But we’ll have to see those Quinx. I don’t like the idea that they don’t treat Hai-chan like they are supposed to do.”  
“You are right. I’m worried too. We should observe them at dinner” said Kuro.

***  
Evening went smoothly and Haise thanked whatever deity caused this. His brother behaved themselves, their guests were comfortable. Food was good, delicious even according to Mutsuki, Sasaki prepared it himself. 

His subordinates showed at their door at seven pm, like they promised. He saw that Urie was anything but happy about spending night with Haise but came though. Shirazu was loud as always and maybe a little excited? Sasaki wasn’t sure. Yonebayashi was just looking around sleepily. He was afraid she’ll just fall asleep at the table. Seriously, thought investigator, she should work on her stamina if leaving the dorm tired her so much. All of them was polite and talked to his brothers. Except Urie of course. He didn’t utter anything after greeting them. Everything was going well and he hoped it was a step toward better teamwork between them.

First challenge appeared during introducing Kanekis.  
“Meet my brothers. Twins, Shiro and Kuro Kaneki and here is Ken Kaneki” Haise visibly glowed with pride while pushing teens towards squad members.  
“Really? White haired is named ‘white’ and black haired –‘black’? it’s lame if you ask me” snorted Kuki.  
Haise noticed look in Shiro’s eyes and answered immediately “I can’t agree, Urie-kun. It suits them well. You know what I mean when you talk to each other.”

But despite the fact that everything was going well he couldn’t shake off a feeling that something very, very bad, was going to happen.

And he jinxed it. Sasaki decided that it was better than he expected. White haired boy stayed almost two hours in silence without causing problems. They were having a nice talk about their favorite dishes and how lucky they were to be able to eat human food when it happened.  
“But speaking of food, did you know that Hai-chan loves bananas?” asked Shiro.  
“I’ve seen he eats them a lot but never thought it was so deep” Tooru was remembering moments he saw his mentor eating.  
“You know, for him bananas are not just fruits. They are way of life.” Kuro joined the fun.”  
“Hey, guys, stop it” Sasaki tried to do something but his brothers ignored him. “It’s not time to discuss…” Shiro cut him off.  
“I can show you his room. It’s full of bananas photos. Not just fruits but also banana trees. He even owns a banana shaped pillow! Can you believe it?”  
“Oh, right” said Ken. He looked like he had just woke up from a sleep. “He says his room is very bananice. Well, it’s not bad, he can made worse puns” he added not realizing he just helped twins in ruining his oldest brother’s image.  
Just when Haise opened his mouth to stop them again, Kuki muttered something to himself but loud enough for everybody to hear.  
“He can’t control his own brothers. And I’m expected to listen to him. What a bullshit.”

Shiro and Kuro frozen. Haise was speechless. Others weren’t sure what to do. Ken for once was aware of the situation. He felt pity toward Urie. Guy had no idea what he was going to experience. Knowing his brothers it’s going to turn ugly.

Twins looked at Qiunx leader. He’s going to pay, they decided without words.  
“Cookie-chan? I hope I heard wrong. Care to repeat?” Shiro was smiling sadistically.  
“You heard me well, don’t play dumb. And who are you calling ‘Cookie-chan’?” Urie was calm.  
“Oh, sorry, Candy-chan. I thought you weren’t so stupid to insult Hai-chan in front of us. You can’t just talk badly about him you know?”  
“Stop coming up with wired names. My name is Urie and you have no rights to call me anything else. I just say what I think. Your older brother is not suited to be my superior.”  
“Listen well, Urie. You have a choice” spoke Kuro. “You can take back what you just said or you can prepare for the biggest pain in your life.”  
To emphasize his twin’s words Shiro cracked his fingers but Urie remained expressionless, bored even.  
“I’m so scared” he deadpanned.  
Shiro got up and went straight to Urie. He did it so fast that Haise couldn’t react in time.  
“Looks like Candy-chan wants to play” he sounded delighted. “I didn’t have fun in a looooong time. Hey, Candy-chan, do you want to know the sound a centipede makes in your ear?”  
“You time is up” added Kuro. “Better start countdown to the end. I’ll help you, what’s thousand minus seven?”  
“Guys, stop!” Haise finally managed to say something but no one listened to him.

Twins showed their Kagune at the same time and attacked Urie. Investigator didn’t wait and dodged them easily. He too used his Kagune. They started fighting without thinking destroying dining room and then going to sitting room while exchanging blows at the same time. 

Haise hurried after them with Shirasu while yelling something about unreliable brats and how he’s going to punish them later.  
“Would you like a cup of tea?” Ken asked remaining girls like nothing happened.

***  
Three wrecked rooms, one broken window and destroyed front doors later Haise managed to send Qiunx Squad home. Now he had two teens covered with bruises to lecture.  
“Shiro, please tell me, what I ordered you to this morning?”  
“I wasn’t allowed to be rude or cause problems” answered white haired boy.  
“And how ruining or house and injuring Urie is not being rude? I can’t wait for your explanation. And Kuro, didn’t I ask you to stop him if something was going to happen? Not to join him in fight!” oldest brother was frowning with disappointment. “I really wanted to make this dinner a chance to get to know them better. I know they are difficult to deal with, but they are good guys.”

Sasaki sighted and turned his back on them. He was staring out of window thinking about how Arima-san and Akira-san are going to scold him. He’s not supposed to endanger his subordinates at his house. Suddenly he felt arms circling around his waist.  
“Wha-?” he was surprised and tried to look back. It was Shiro hugging him from behind.  
“So cold, Hai-chan. It was for you, you know? We can’t ignore someone who is insulting you. You are warm and nice. And you look after us all this time even when you are busy with work. You worry too much and are very bad at making puns. But you are the best brother. We can’t let anyone badmouth you, even if he’s your subordinate.  
“He’s right, nii-san” Kuro stood next to him. “You are important to us three, so we need to protect you.”  
“Honestly… you guys are too much.”

Sasaki felt like crying. Just one more sentence and he’d burst into tears.  
“Ken! Come here, you are missing Kaneki-Sasaki family hug!” yelled Shiro.

Yeah, they are too much, decided Haise in his mind. But they were all he needed or even more and he’ll never have enough of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ^ ^
> 
> Next time: Ken is going on a date. What will be his brothers' reaction?


	3. Dating May Be Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, god, I haven't been here for so long. I'm sorry.
> 
> The more I write this, the more I think i can't write at all tbh. The whole time I think I make them OOC too much and it's not like them at all. But I fell in love with this AU so I'm goint to continue this! There's no chance I'll stop (not before I make love story for my TsukiKane pair <3).

It was normal evening at Kaneki-Sasaki household. Without murders attempt and fighting with guests. Shiro prepared dinner and all brothers gathered in kitchen for meal. No one have seen bomb coming from Ken.

“I think I should tell you, so you won’t be surprised. I’m going on a date tomorrow” said black haired boy and waited for reactions.  
Haise choked on his drink while Shiro, who burst into laughing, tried to rescue him by hitting his back. Hard. Kuro froze with fork right in front of his lips.  
“Ahahahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahah! Haha. HA. Okay, Ken-chan, now seriously. What happened?” Shiro calmed down.  
“It wasn’t mean to be a joke. I’m serious. You can even say I’m sasarious.” Boy in question shot his oldest brother amused look.  
“That joke is getting old, guys” Haise was finally able to say something. “Ken, who is the lucky girl? We have to know who should we scare away… Ahem, welcome nicely I meant.”  
“Not a girl. It’s a guy and you know him well”   
“His name? His address?” Shiro was smiling sweetly.  
“Hide Nagachika. He lives in Ward 20, but you know it. He’s my best friend and he’s been here countless times.”  
“That’s enough, Ken-chan. Hai-chan, I’m going out for a bit. Kuro, I’ll call you when I’m done. May need help with hiding the body.”  
“Wouldn’t it be better to eat him? Less evidence.” Black haired twin suggested.  
“That’s future lawyer for you!”  
“I’m up for hiding evidence. My squad can just pass it as some random attack. Just don’t leave fingertips. I can take care of the rest” Haise showed a thumb-up sign.   
“Aniki, Kuro-nii, Shiro-nii please stop joking. It’s not funny.”  
“Who’s joking here?” asked the choir of three brothers.

Ken pouted in answer and looked away from them. His shoulders slumped down a little, but he didn’t say anything more. Haise noticed his mood’s change.  
“Sorry, Ken. We got carried away.”  
“Such lies~ Hai-chan” Shiro tired to interrupt but was silenced by kick form Kuro.  
“That was a bad joke. Well it’s sudden. We didn’t see it coming, to be honest. Are you going out?” Haise ignored white haired boy.  
“You can say that. Hide confessed to me today and asked me out.”  
“So you like him?” added Kuro.  
There was a long silence. Ken was avoiding looking at his brothers and fidgeting on his chair. Shiro’s eyes weren’t visible and some shadow was hiding his expression. His twin was sure that plan to kill Hide wasn’t forgotten.   
“I fell in love with him, you know” Ken said in a small voice. “Have been for some time actually. But… He was always interested in cute girls ad was talking about going out with girls so I was sure it’d be one-sided.”  
“Then how did you get him to confess?” Sasaki was now honestly curious.  
“I was sure he had crush on Touka-chan. And then I thought that I can play a matchmaker and tried to set them into date.”  
“Pure masochist” commented Shiro but rest ignored him again.  
“And?” Now Kuro prompted younger boy to continue.  
“Hide found me out. And then he got mad. Said that I’m stupid and blind if I can’t see that he loves me.”  
“Awww. That was sweet” said Haise.  
“A-and then he said he’d understand if I don’t want to know him anymore or I can ignore what he said. I didn’t know how to react. S-so I kissed him?” He ended vary of his brothers reaction.  
“Are you asking or telling us that?” Haise’s face didn’t betray his thoughts. He was smiling in his nice, warm way.  
“Ugh, I’m telling. I kissed Hide and agreed to go on a date with him. I’m sorry, but I won’t change my mind even if you don’t approve.” Ken knew he didn’t sound sure. His voice wasn’t trembling but there was some uncertainty in it. But even so, he refused to avert his eyes. He wasn’t going to back up on this matter.  
“Hide is my boyfriend now and I won’t break up. I’ll go on bookstore dates with him and I’ll be holding heads and lazing around on sofa on our free days a-and I’m going to d-do a c-couple stuff with him too!” At the end of his monologue Ken’s face was as red as tomato.  
“Should we look for a wedding place in country were gay marriage is legal?” Kuro tried joking.  
“Yes, please!” Ken yelled and run away leaving his brother speechless.

***  
Ken wasn’t able to tell what possessed him to tell his brothers about Hide. Or about his feelings for Hide. He should know better than to spill such news so bluntly. Now he could only hope that Shiro-nii won’t lose his mind and try to interrupt them. Or scare his boyfriend away.

Boyfriend. Youngest Kaneki liked sound of this word in connection to Hide. He lost count for how long he was dreaming about being in relationship with his best friends.

Teenager understood that his brothers were worried. He was quiet and shy and didn’t have many friends. Also, it was hard to make hem, given his family situation. No wonder they tried to protect him at all cost. But to go as far as to threaten Nagachika’s life? Ken won’t allow it. 

They have to understand, he thought. I don’t want to make them worry about me for their rest of their lives. I’m not a kid anymore and I have right to be with the one I love.

His thoughts were interrupted by soft knock on his door. After a second Kuro went inside and smiled at boy sitting on the bed.  
“I wanted to check on you. How are you feeling?”  
“it’s okay. I was just embarrassed about what I said. I-I know you are worried b-but you don’t have to. I know what I’m doing” answered black haired boy.  
“We know you do. It’s just strange, you know. It’s hard to notice that you don’t need us as much as before. And well, you are the first one of us who’s going out with someone while being the youngest, so it kind of freaked us out” said Kuro.  
“The first one? But what about you and Tsukiyama-san? I was sure you are dating!” exclaimed younger boy.  
“It’s not like that. Shuu-san is just playing. He’s not serious so it’s nothing big. Not like you and Hide.”  
“Kuro-nii…” Ken wanted to protest and comfort his brother about his relationship but was cut of.  
“Anyway. Just wanted to tell you, that you don’t have to worry about us. As long as you are happy, we are too. I’ll take care of Shiro tomorrow so he won’t traumatize Hide but I can’t promise anything.” Boy with eye-patch smiled apologetically. “He tends to be overprotective and no one can stop him if he decides to take action.”  
“I know. I love that about Shiro-nii to be honest. That’s how he shows his concern.”   
“But he could do it less violently if you ask me.” Kuro chuckled remembering something. “I heard form nii-san that Urie-san is still freezing at the mention of Shiro’s name.”  
“Can’t say I blame him” Ken was laughing too. “Shiro-nii went all out with him. Not like Urie-san didn’t deserve it though.”

The two of them spend rest of the evening talking about white haired twin’s antics unaware of two figures behind the door listening to every word.

***

Ken believed in what Kuro told him last night. But he knew his brothers well. So he expected them to try to threat his boyfriend or embarrass him in front of Hide. That’s why he was surprised or shocked even when he found his best friend together with Haise and Shiro eating pastries and gossiping like high school girls.

It started innocently. Ken was in his room choosing right clothes with help of Kuro and Tsukiyama, who decided to visit black haired boy. He was so focused on this he missed Hide appearing at their door. Hearing the bell, Sasaki left kitchen and went to open the door. That was first disaster.

Nagachika considered himself a brave man. Not fearless, but not a coward either. He knew he has to be prepared for some stress during meeting with Ken’s brothers given they are dating now. But sight that greeted him after the door opened was too much.

There stood Haise in his clothes stained with some red liquid. And if this isn’t suspicious, he had also a big butcher’s knife dirtied with the same substance in his hand. It could be Hide’s imagination but Sasaki’s smile looked dangerous. Like a promise of pain that awaited the blonde.  
“Hello, Hide! Don’t stand there, come in!” Oldest brother stepped back to make space for the guest. “Would you like to drink some coffee? Ken is upstairs, he’ll come soon.”   
“I’d love to, Haise-san.” Hide tried not to look at red stains. Without results, it was like his eyes were drifted to observe them. He couldn’t help thinking how much they looked like fresh blood. “But aren’t I interrupting something? You seem… busy.”  
“Oh this? No, no, it’s nothing. I’m making a dinner. I hate cooking but it’s my turn today. It’s Shiro’s favorite – spaghetti made of fresh…”  
“…ground human meat.” Someone whispered behind Nagachika. Ken’s boyfriend almost jumped in surprise.  
To make things worse, Shire decided to show himself in kitchen. Well, well, he thought seeing blond boy, it’s like my prey asking me to attack.  
“Don’t listen to him, Hideyoshi. He has very bad sense of humor. It’s made of fresh tomatoes.”   
“Hide-chan! It’s been long since I saw you last time. You are not avoiding us, right?” White haired twin asked in sing song voice.  
“Of course not. I’m just busy with university and my club activities. But I promise, I’ll visit more often.” Hide was starting to calm down. What’s wrong with me, he thought, I’m overreacting.  
“That would be great! Especially now, when you are dating Ken-chan. You should spend more time here, eat dinner with us sometimes and all.”   
“So, you aren’t against me dating Ken?” Hide asked.  
“No, not at all. You can rest assured” said Haise. “As long as he’s happy, we are going to be silent. And we all know you for years, you are his best friend, Hide so we are sure he’s in good hands.”  
“Yeah, I hate to admit but you can say we trust you” added Shiro. “But if you hurt him, there won’t be mercy. I’ll show you that this knife can cut human body just like tomatoes.”  
“You don’t have to tell me. If I ever hurt him, I’ll come myself to you.” Hide looked Shiro in the eyes withstood look white haired boy gave him.  
“I’m happy we understand each other. Now, while we are waiting for you prince to get ready, let’s try those pastries Shuu-chan brought for us.” Kaneki pushed a plate full of sweets towards Nagachika.  
“No, Shiro! It’s dessert, we were going to eat them later.” Sasaki tried to stop his brother.”  
“But Hai-chan…!”

***  
“Hide! Everything’s alright?” Ken tired not to freak out when he entered kitchen.  
“Yeah, we are talking about university. It looks like Shiro-niisan and I have common friends. You remember Nishiki-sempai I told you about? He’s Shiro-niisan’s friend too! What a coincidence.” Nagachika was relaxed and smiled at him. It didn’t look like his brothers were stopping themselves from attacking the blonde. Is world’s end near or Ken is overreacting?  
“Um, that’s great. But, shouldn’t we leave? Meeting starts soon.”  
“Oh, yeah, you’re right. Let’s go. You look very handsome by the way” Hide kissed him on the cheek. “I should start worry someone can stole you from me.”  
“God, Hide, stop it! It’s embarrassing when you say things like that! Anyway, we are going. Bye, aniki, Shiro-nii!” Ken used the moment his brothers were petrified by Nagachika’s show of affection to run away.  
“Have fun!” He heard Ken and Tsukiyama form upstairs.

***

“Now, gentlemen. I’m sure it’s the moment to start operation A.M.O.R.E.” said Haise when Shuu and Kuro came to kitchen.  
“Are we really doing this? I thought we decided not to interfere?” Kuro wasn’t happy with his brothers’ plans.  
“We have to make sure everything is going to be okay.” Shiro tired to reason with his twin. “We are responsible for our baby brother, you know.”  
“I don’t want to hear about responsibilities from you. But you’ll do this even without me, so I’d better join. Someone needs to have an eye on you.”  
“It may be fun, so count me in, Kaneki-kun” decided Tsukiyama.  
“Well, let me explain the plan. Our mission name is A.M.O.R.E. It means ‘Action Meant to Organize Romantic Experience’ and to say shortly we are going to follow those to and make sure everything they planned will go smoothly” said Shiro.  
“That’s right, soldier” answered Sasaki and white haired boy saluted him with smile. “We are going to be intriglued to them so prepare yourself.”  
“… I agreed to do this, but can you spare us you puns, nii-san?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised date buuuuut, this just happened. i'm going to write it next time. And of course how A.M.O.R.E. Operation went too :D
> 
> Please, tell me what you think or leave a kudo if you liked my work ^ ^


	4. Brother's Duties Include Stalking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back after long break. really, university doesn't let me live as I want... No time to read, no time to write at all. But now I'm going to focus on my works - "Memories..." will be updated soon too. and in one or two weeks I'm going to post "Gintama" one-shot (though it will be in Polish). So, yeah, I'm going to work hard - cheer for me :D.
> 
> As always - English is not my native language so there might be some mistakes.

“Centipede here. I’m awiting in point B-26 Where are you, Eyepatch?”  
“I just arrived at point D-18. Waiting for Gourmet. He’s following the target.”  
“Good. I checked the location. I seems save. Mentor is taking care of possible threats.”  
“Understood. Wait, no. What threats? What did you actually plan?”  
“Don’t shout, Eyepatch. You’ll draw attention. Remember, this is undercover mission. We are supposed to hide ourselves. And we didn’t plan anything evil. Mentor is checking if any people who might interrupt target are far away.”  
“For heaven sake, Shiro, it’s not national security case! It’s a date! There’s no need to make whole city empty!” Kuro clenched his hand on his cellphone. He knew it was bad idea, but it was becoming more and more crazy.  
“Use code names, will you? Do I have to remind you that our baby brother’s happiness is on stake here? I won’t risk Nishihiro walking on them somewhere and making fun of Ken. Ehat are you going to do if he’ll hurt him? And Ken will shut himself in his room and decline go out? You know how sensitive he is. Or, god forbid, Touka finding out that her crush is gay. She’ll kill Hide on spot for stealing Ken form her. Or Hinami? She’s going…”   
“Okay, okay, stop. I know, I understand. You are exaggerating but whatever. You won’t listen. You never listen.”  
“That’s not true, Eyepatch. I always listen especially to you, you know it. But this time it’s you who needs to listen to me. And Mentor. You trust Mentor, right? So now, stop bitching and get to work. They reach you in 9 minutes.”  
Sighting, Kuro ended call and hid behind newspaper. He was sitting in a small café near the bookstore which was Ken and Hide’s place for date. His mission was to make sure nothing bad was going to happen in the area. With the Sen Takatsuki’s fans crowding everywhere dangerous things might happen. Or that’s what Haise said.

When A.M.O.R.E. started one hour ago, Haise explained whole plan, which wasn’t an actual plan at all – they were going to follow Ken and Hide and make sure nothing will interrupt them. This included taking care of their friends who may ruin boys’ date and checking if places they are going to are safe. Just this.

Shiro insisted on going all out with this so called mission and pursued them to use code names. In that way Kuro became Eyepatch and Shiro was Centipede. Black haired boy chuckled to himself remembering what Tsukiyama wanted to be called. The Gorgeous One Send To Bring Harmony was very bad idea, so they decided on Gourmet instead. This man was hopeless. Sasaki opted on Mentor – his title from CCG.

Shuu was sent to follow the pair and watch them during their visit in coffee shop and then meet with Kuro when ken and Hide arrive at his place. The two of them were going to blend in the crowd on Takatsuki’s author meeting. Black haired boy still wondered how his oldest brother could include Tsukiyama in operation where NOT standing out was necessary. He could easily imagine Shuu jumping from one street lamp to another in bright red suit trying to be invisible. Ken was going to kill them.

Meantime, Kuro went to a café near the pair’s next stop to wait there. He disguised himself with gray fedora, sunglasses and clothes magically brought by Kaede on Tsukiyama’s request. How did he managed do it in less than fifteen minutes was a wonder to them. Clothes picked by Gourmet weren’t his style, but thanks to that there was a chance Ken won’t notice him. 

Kaneki noticed new text on his cellphone. It was form Tsukiyama informing that target and he will arrive in a minute. Inhaling deeply, he braced himself for the start of his part.

He started to observe the street. In a few seconds he saw them, waling together and talking. Kuro wondered if Ken knew how his face brighten when he’s with Hide. Not far behind them half ghoul noticed a tall man going down the street. Kuro didn’t pay him more attention, focusing on his target. So he was surprised when man walked straight to him. Black haired boy used this to take a good look on the newcomer. He was tall and slim. He wore tight black jeans and leather boots. White t-shirt gave nice view on his chest and stomach muscles – but not enough to be a show-off. Leather jacket emphasized his broad shoulders. Hair were hidden under black beanie, so it was impossible to determine their color. He also had sunglasses. 

“Have I told you how great you look in this outfit? I knew it would suit you, mon chéri.” Stranger took seat on his table.  
“Tsukiyama-san? I didn’t recognize you!” Kuro knew this voice well, there was no mistake.  
“Hoho, that’s what I intended, my dear Kaneki-kun. So? Tell me, what you think? Does it look good on me?” Violet haired guy turned round to let Kuro see him from every side.

Kaneki tried really hard not to notice how fine his ass looked in those tight jeans but it was impossible. That’s not the right time, he scolded himself, behave yourself you hormones driven idiot. Leave those fantasies for the night and your lonely bed, he reminded himself.

“It looks great, Tsukiyama-san. I didn’t expect you to be prepared that well for this mission” he managed to say.  
“Of course I had to prepare! It’s for love after all! I’m always supporter of this beautiful emotion! And we are doing this for your little brother, who is almost as dear to me as you are, Kaneki-kun.” Gourmet smiled brightly and Kuro could see his eyes behind sunglasses shining with excitement.  
“Th-thank you, Tsukiyama-san” Kaneki cures himself for stuttering. Tsukiyama did this to him again. He always found way to make him flustered. Was his blushing face really that funny? “Anyway, we should go inside the bookstore. Looks like Hide and Ken are entering. Nii-san, er, I mean Mentor is going to be angry if we neglect our duties.”  
“You are right, Kaneki-kun. It’s a shame we can’t enjoy ourselves while drinking delicious coffee here, but maybe we’ll be able to make up for it another time?”  
“Eh? We? S-sure. It’d be great. If there’ll be a chance I mean. And time.”  
“Merveilleusement! I’ll hold you to this. Now, let’s go. There’s a mission to accomplish.”

***  
For once, Haise was thankful for having mentally questionable brothers and friends. It made stalking Ken easier. It was even funny to watch how the most dangerous of them could turn into mother hen if necessary. Not that he was going to tell it Shiro, he liked his life and didn’t want to have it ended by the hands of his brother.

When Kuro and Tsukiyama were observing the date’s progress and watching out for surprise threats, Sasaki checked on possible known threats. Mainly, including their friends. 

What wasn’t easy. Touka-chan actually suspected something was strange when Ken refused to go shopping with her this morning without telling reason. Hinami were easier to take care of, but she too asked a lot of questions. Who knows what will happen if they’d found out?

Haise was sure they would be happy for Ken. After all, Touka’s crush wasn’t a big deal. Everyone could tell that something was really going on between her and that friend from high school, but she was too stubborn to admit it. But them being happy for Ken didn’t mean they wouldn’t ruin their date if they’d met them in town by chance.

So, to avoid any accidents, Sasaki took girls under his wings. With little help from Tsukiyama, or rather his golden credit card, everything was going to be fine.

“Centipede, mentor’s speaking. Girls are with me. Mission complete. Going to call Anteiku and check if preparations there are ready” he called his brother to give report of the situation.  
“Roger. Eyepatch and Gourmet took their positions. Have been updating me every fifteen minutes. Everything is going smoothly. My part is done too, there were some problems but I resolved them already. Just waiting for target to arrive now. I’ll give you report in forty five minutes.”  
“What problems, Centipede?” Haise started to think that sending Shiro to deal with restaurant owner and arrange extra services might’ve been wrong idea.  
“Oh, nothing big. They just threw a fit when I demanded for the place to be less crowded today. They were arguing that it’s lees money for them. So I just paid for half of the tables and booked them for me. Now they can’t do anything, rest assured.”  
“I’d love to say, that’s great, but I can’t, Shiro” Haise sighted. “You can’t just empty an restaurant to feel more comfortable! It’s rude to people who wanted to go there today.”  
“Code names, Mentor, please. You are too good for this world, too pure. If we want to succeed, we have to be heartless, our little brother happiness is what matters here.”  
“Yeah, yah. I know. Devour others or be devoured, right? I know, but don’t forget it’s not a life or death situation. Some awkwardness is good on a first date.”  
“Not at ones I plan, Mentor.” Shiro was having so much fun, it was even possible to hear in his voice. “Now, enjoy the show.”

***  
The restaurant was filled with lilies of the valley and snowdrops, flowers both suited for the end of march, and with meaning accurate in this situation. I want to make you happy and convince me to yourself, Shiro thought, were perfect for those two. Hide wanted nothing else than make Ken smile and his little brother desired to believe in Hide and his intentions.

White haired boy looked once again around restaurant. Tablecloths and napkins in white, green and light pink matched flowers in vases. In the corner a quartet was preparing for the performance. Waiters were somewhere in the background, checking last details before guests arrived.

Congratulating himself for doing such a wonderful job, Shiro, took a seat near the kitchen where no one would notice him. From that spot he’ll be able to calmly observe his target.

***  
“I’m really sorry. I had no idea they’d do something like that.” Ken for first time in his life felt an urge to find a wall and bang his head on it. He was going to kill his brothers.  
“Don’t mind it. It’s not a big deal, they just show how much the love you.” Hide smiled.  
“No, it’s not that. They are just embarrassing. I can’t believe Kuro-nii is taking part in this too. And if he’s here that means the other two know as well what we planned.”

The youngest Kaneki was aware of their unwanted company since the beginning. Tsukiyama can dress up even as a woman and he would notice him stalking them. He wanted to ignore it but Hide saw him too. Now they were at bookstore during the meeting with his favorite author and Ken couldn’t focus on it because of that strange pair following them. 

“It’s cute how they care for you. And don’t worry, I’m not scared or something. They won’t get rid of me that easily.” The blonde squeezed ken’s hand. “Not now, when you confessed to me.”

Ken couldn’t find verbal answer so that, so he just squeezed Hide’s hand back and moved himself slightly nearer to his boyfriend.

“But I have to admit that Kuro-san and Tsukiyama-san look good together. How long have they been dating?“  
“They aren’t dating. Kuro-nii says they are just friends. I don’t actually believe him though.”

Hide snorted and Kaneki looked at him questioningly.  
“Not dating? I could swear they are going to get married soon. I mean, the way Tsukiyama-san looks at Kuro-san? There so much feelings in his eyes, it’s hard to believe they are not together.”  
“I’m not sure if you are right. Kuro-nii knows Tsukiyama-san best, so if he says there’s nothing between them…”  
“Trust me. I know that look in Tsukiyama-san eyes. My eyes look the same when I see you, Ken.”

After those words Ken felt warm inside his chest. It was barely more than twenty four hours since their confession and he still felt kile he needed to hear confirmations of Hide’s love again and again. He was sure he was blushing madly right now but he didn’t care. Hide was with him, looking at him and smiling at him. And Ken was so happy at this moment, that nothing would be able to make him happier. Maybe only disappearance of his unofficial chaperones.

“I have an idea” said blonde suddenly. “I know how we can escape you brothers if you want.”

***  
Shro was blinking into space without thinking. He couldn’t comprehend what he just heard. He just sit there and held his cellphone to his ear.

“What do you mean, they disappeared, Eyepatch? Way form the bookstore to this restaurant is short and they couldn’t get lost!”  
“I know, Centipede. Stop screaming at me. Would you listen to me for a minute?” asked Kuro in angry voice when silence answered him, continued. “After they left bookstore they caught a taxi and went in opposite direction. We didn’t have a chance to chase them.”  
“And why would they resign from a visit to restaurant? You said they planned to have dinner after meeting with Takatsuki.”  
“I have no idea. Only possibility we have is that they noticed us and decided to escape. Do you blame them?”  
“No one escapes me in such way. Try to find them. I’m going to have long talk with Ken-chan and Hi-chan later.”  
“No, Shiro. Let’s end it here. Even with Tsukiyama-san’s help we won’t be able to find them.”

White haired boy heard some voice in the background. Probably Shuu telling Kuro he’d be able to track them down in less than five minutes but his twin silenced his friend.  
“We’ll pick you up and we are going home together. We’ll wait for Ken, apologize to him and listen to his description of how did his date go. Do I make myself clear?”  
“Yes, sir. Hurry up, I’m bored here.”

Shiro hung up and waited. In his mind he was already planning what tortures he was going to try on Hide, when a waiter interrupted his thoughts.  
“Excuse me, sir. We recived a call from Mr. Hideyoshi Nagachika. He informed us, that we should treat you to dinner on his cost. He also asked to deliver a message that there’s no need to hold back and you are welcome to eat with your brothers. Mr. Nagachika will pay for everything as a show of gratitude for taking care of Mr. Ken.”  
“That little…!” Shiro started laughing maniacally. He couldn’t wait to meet Hide again, it looked like he would adapt in their crazy family well.

***  
After running away from bookstore Ken and Hide changed their plans a little. Instead of going to a restaurant they just went for a long walk on the outskirts of town. They didn’t do much, just talked a lot.

But just talking was enough. Hide paid attention to everything Kaneki said to the point where it was flustering. It wasn’t like he was saying something smart or important, just talking about that book he borrowed from Amon-san. But blonde was listening and asking for more and answering. Black haired boy loved this. Just him and Hide sharing their own little worlds and creating one united world for the two of them.

When Hide walked him to his house. Ken caught himself thinking that he wanted more. More time with his boyfriend and more talking. More just being together. But he scolded himself for this. It has been one day, don’t be greedy, he reminded himself.

“Aaah, our date’s ending already” said Hide stopping in front of the front door. “that’s not enough, you know? I’ll visit you tomorrow, okay?”  
“S-sure! I’ll be waiting.”  
“Great!” Blonde paused before taking a step toward youngest Kaneki. “So, goodnight, Ken.”

Then he leaned and kissed black haired boy on the corner of his lips. It was just a little peck but enough to make Kaneki blush.  
It took him a moment to calm down and go into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist a bit of TsukiKane (or shall I call it TsukiKuro in this verse?) - I'm going to make a short arc about them later :3
> 
> Extra: who can guess what mean points B-26 and D-18? I took it from one of my favorite manga and they're not places but people :D (It's not important, but just wanted to use it).
> 
> How was it? Again - please leave a comment? I really want to know what you think, so I can improve my story/writing.
> 
> And, one more imporant thing: some wonderfull people are working on short comic based on "Our Life Is Comedy"! I'll give you more information on this later, when it'll be ready. God, bless their souls. It's amazing and I'm so happy (>*.*)>


	5. Long Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fast update this time. This is the chapter I actually had in mind since the beginning - I created it even before first chapter and it's actually the one which gave me idea for the whole fic.
> 
> It's a little more serious this time, but I hope you'll like it.
> 
> English is not my native language, so forgive me any mistakes, please :)

Wednesday was a normal day for Kaneki brothers. Nothing was out of order, expect that Haise was unusually quiet. When asked about that, he brushed it off.

“I’m just a bit sleepy. I stayed up late last night reading novel form Arima-san” he said.  
The oldest brother was known for his ability to forgot himself in lecture, so it wasn’t anything strange. He shared this trait with Ken. Both of them were daydreamers, but Haise’s job prevented him from getting lost in reality as his youngest brother did sometimes.  
“My, my, Hai-chan can be such an idiot. Then it’ll be your fault if you get hurt at work.” Shiro wasn’t the one to express concern directly but everyone could hear in his voice that he cared.  
“Thank you, but don’t worry, I’m good.”  
“I’ll make your favorite dish for dinner then. I bet you’ll be even more tired when you’ll be back” added Kuro.

They proceed to eat breakfast prepared by Sasaki before he went to work. Then Shiro and Ken went to their respectful classes and Kuro stayed at home as he didn’t have to go out that day.

***  
Sasaki arrived at CCG headquarter at the same time as Akira and Amon. The two of them were back at work few weeks ago after their honeymoon in Hawaii. That is, if investigating and eliminating a small gang of ghouls attacking tourists in Honolulu can be called a honeymoon. But everyone knew the two of them wouldn’t have it any other way. They even refused to take a free day for their wedding. Haise and Airma tried to persuade them otherwise but without success.

So he wasn’t surprised they responded to call today even if they didn’t have to.  
“Akira-san, Amon-san, good morning” Sasaki greeted them with a smile.  
Amon responded with a little curw of his lips and nod.  
“Oh, Haise, you are here too. Hello. I heard you and your twins caused some ruckus this weekend. What was that about calling Quinx to hide evidence?” Akira pretended to look scandalized. “You are aware that would be abuse of power and position?”  
“Ahaha, Akira-san, you believe those awful gossips? You know I’d never do something like that! I’m sad to hear you have so little faithn in me.”  
“Oh, stop it, you second-class actor. Even Tsukiyama is better at this than you. And that says a lot.” The blonde was grinning. She ruffled Haise’s and motioned both men to go in headquarter.  
“Jokes aside we are happy to hear Ken is dating Hide” said Koutaro. “We wish them luck.”  
“Thank you, I’d tell him that. But, by the way, how did you know about his date?” Haise asked as they were walking.  
“Oh, that. Well, Hide told Seidou and Seidou asked Tsukiyama for details. Shuu told him everything Nagachika didn’t know. Then somehow Kaede and Naki heard the whole conversation and Naki called me to ask, and here I quote: if I’m aware that one of my sons went to date and his brothers tried to ruin it by stalking.” She kept innocent voice. “And then, I called Shiro to explain. Remind me, Kou, when did I gave birth to four boys? I haven’t noticed.”  
“I’m sure we somehow adopted them. Or, actually you did.” It was amazing how Amon was able to keep straight face in this situation. Sasaki admired him for that.  
“Really? I signed up for being a mentor, not mother. But, maybe having such a cute son as you, isn’t that bad” Akira pinched his cheek. “But don’t give your mum more distress in the future. Just taking care of you normally is tiring.”  
“Yes, ma’am.”

They dropped the conversation as the they reached meeting room. Inside a group of nearly hundred of doves were already sitting and waiting for the start. The three of them took sits near front of the room, next to Quinx who greeted them with smiles. Except Urie, who still hold grudge against twins and in extension, towards Sasaki.

Everyone waited in silence. After few minutes Washuu walked into the room. He took his place in front of all gathered and started.  
“Good morning to all of you. Meeting will be short, just to remind main points of today’s mission. Details for each squad’s part were already given to squads commanders. Then, let’s begin. Our goal today is to protect Kokuria Ghoul Detention Center form organization called V.

***  
It was already eight pm and there was still no sign of Haise. It wasn’t unusual for him to stay late at work but something was nagging Kuro. He had a feeling that something was off but couldn’t point out what.

He tried to calm down, after all he got a text form his oldest brother that he’ll be back late and they shouldn’t wait for him with dinner. But still, he didn’t stay at work that long. Kuro could see he wasn’t the only one who worried. Shiro was in the kitchen standing in front of the window. Kitchen was the only room with view on the front door so he could see if someone is coming. Ken for once wasn’t able to focus on book in his hands and kept looking around. No one could bring himself to eat dinner.

***  
After next hour. Shiro lost patience. He grabbed his phone and called Haise. Kuro stood in door to kitchen and observed his twin.

White haired boy kept his cellphone to his ear. After few seconds he growled and ended call.  
“Voicemail” he just said to Kuro.  
Twins looked at each other. Putting all pieces together they were able to say what was going on. The only moments they couldn’t reach Haise were when he was on mission. But he didn’t say about mission and they usually knew about them, so they wouldn’t have to wonder why he was gone for so long. Like today.  
“Is aniki on mission?” All of sudden quiet voice behind Kuro asked.  
Twins turned to see their youngest look at them with worry.  
“We don’t know. His phone is turned off. Maybe his battery is just dead and he’s somewhere partying with other doves after long day.” Shiro tired to lift the mood but they all knew there wasn’t much chance for that.

Then they heard someone knocking on the door. All three brothers rushed to open it but the person they expected to see wasn’t there.

“I’d love to say I’m happy all of you are greeting at the door my but I’m sure you aren’t waiting for me. That means he hasn’t come back?” Hide had sad smile on his face while asking.  
“Hide? What are you doing here? Come in.” Ken reacted first.  
“I thought you could use some of my company tonight. While waiting for Haise-san.”  
“Hold on” said Shiro as they went to living room. “You know where’s Hai-chan?”  
“Nothing sure” answered Nagachika. “There was some commotion in the morning at CCG, but all not related to investigations workers were kept out of this. I don’t even know what kind of operation they were working on. There were some gossips about raid next week. But doesn’t look like this. And I heard that Aogiri tree was called to a meeting today. I’ve seen Eto and Ayato at headquarter. I was sure you knew more on what’s going on. Haise-san didn’t say you anything?”  
“…No. He didn’t. And I think he deserve some punishment for that later.” Shiro was so furious his kakugan was even showing.  
“I’m going to call Tsukiyama-san. He should now what Aogiri is doing.” Kuro left room before anyone could say something.

Hide sat on sofa next to Ken and took his hand without saying anything. Black haired boy lied his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes.  
“I wish he would tell us he was going on mission today. Not knowing where he is or what he’s doing is scary.”  
“He probably wanted to not worry you. You know how Haise-san is. He tries to protect you from any harm.”  
“And that’s a bit selfish, don’t you think, Hide-chan?” Shiro said from his place across the room. “He always try to do everything alone when it comes to important stuff while we are left in the dark. Now we were worried even more because we didn’t know what was going on.”  
“I didn’t say he did good thing. But that’s how he shows his love to you.  
“We know it, Hide. But knowing nii-san is doing it so we don’t have to worry doesn’t make it any easier.” Kuro entered the room.  
“What Shuu-chan said?” Shiro was immediately next to his twin.  
“He doesn’t pick up. When I called his home Kaede told me he left this afternoon. Eto asked for his help in some action against ghoul criminals. But he didn’t know if it was joined action with CCG.”  
“I doubt there would be two big not related operations in one day” said white haired boy.

“Okay guys” Kuro decided to take charge, “now we have vague idea of where our stupid brother is. It’s frustrating but we can’t do anything now but wait for him to come back. And then kick his ass for acting like that. Ken, you look tired, go and try to sleep. Hide, if you could stay with him in his room. Me and Shiro… We’ll find something to pass the time while waiting.”

Others answered him with nods. There wasn’t much to say in response after all.

***  
Twins sat quietly in the kitchen with mugs full of hot coffee. They didn’t need to talk to understand how each other feels. Kuro could see something was bothering Shiro, but decided not to voice it. If his brother wanted, he would say something. And so they kept sitting in silence.

“Kuro… What if he doesn’t come back?”  
Black haired boy was so stunned he didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like Shiro to have those thoughts.  
“Nii-san is strong. And has a lot of fellow doves who can fight with him and help him. He won’t…” Kuro had to pause before next words he wanted to say “…die. He was the one who taught us how to fight, remember? Even you can’t defeat him, he learned from Arima-san who is the best among CCG.”  
Shiro was staring at his mug for few minutes before he answered.  
“Yeah, you are right. I’m having stupid thoughts right now, sorry.”  
“Don’t be. We all worry about him. But it surprised me, you usually doesn’t doubt nii-san’s skills.”  
“It’s not like that!” Shiro reacted vehemently. “I just keep remembering what I said to him in the morning, that’s all. I know it’s stupid, but I don’t want Hai-chan to be hurt in battle.”  
“None of us do. Forget about that words. Nii-san knew you said it with concern. Now, focus on how you are going to make him for all worries we had tonight.”  
“That’s wonderful idea, my dear brother. I love how you mind is so similar to mine. How can it be no one sees how evil you are?”  
“We are twins after all. We are one, right?” Kuro reached for Shiro’s hand on the table and squeezed it to comfort him. “Of course our minds work the same way. I just doesn’t show this side of me as easily as you. Someone needs to play good twin’s role.”

***  
At four in the morning twins heard front door opening. They immediately went to look what was going on. They saw Amon and Akira carrying staggering Sasaki between them. He was half conscious. His mission clothes were dirty with some blood and dust and there was a sign of wound on his tight already covered with bandage.

Boys jumped forward to help secure their brother.  
“What the hell happened to him?” Shiro asked through clenched teeth. He took Amon’s place at left side and put Haise’s arm around his neck.  
Kuro did the same on Sasaki’s right side while Akira answered them.  
“Mission took longer than we expected. It was suppose to take three hours at most, but it didn’t go so well.”  
“That’s not what I want to now. What happened to Hai-chan to come back in such state?” Shiro’s eyes were angry. Akira knew that nothing will calm him right now, but still explained.  
“He got hurt while protecting Urie. That kid tried to prove himself and got into trouble. Haise rescued him but a ghoul pierced his leg. He’s fine now, but lost a lot of blood and needs a lot of rest. So other questions can wait. Now we should put him in bed.”  
“Thank you, we’ ll take it from here. You are tired too. Leave nii-san to us and go home to rest too” said Kuro.  
“Are you sure? We can help” offered Amon.  
“Yes, it’s not the first time we’ll be doing this. Thank you for bringing him home. Goodnight, Akira-san, Amon-san.”  
“Goodnight then, boys. Don’t be too harsh on him when he’ll wake up. He couldn’t warn you about this.”  
“Don’t worry, mum. We’ll be nice and caring as always.” In the end Shiro was able to smile sincerely at Akira.

After couple left, twins didn’t waste their time. While Shiro took Haise to his bedroom, Kuro went to wake up Ken.  
White haired boy undressed his brother and changed him into his pyjamas. He kept muttering insults at investigator.  
“Stupid. Reckless. Idiot. Dumbass. Four eyes. Maybe you are not wearing them all the time but still. Irresponsible. Crazy. I hate you so much.  
Now that he had his borther in fornt of his eyes and safe, he could let his emotions out. Sasaki choose this moment to regain consciousness.  
“Shiro? What are you doing in Kokuria? You have classes today!”  
“Focus, you idiot brother. You are at home. Action is over”  
“Oh, that’s good. Then I’m happy to see you, little borther.” Shiro helped him remove uniform and stopped at the sight of boxers Sasaki was wearing.  
“Oh, god. Hai-chan it would be so embarrassing to have you die in this underwear. Rally? Banana pattern. How far will you go with this craziness?”  
“All the way and even further. You simply don’t understand the greatness of bananas, you pathetic centipedes lover.”  
“How is he?” before Shiro could answer Ken and Kuro appeared next to him.  
“His leg looks fine, it was treated already. But he barely conscious. He doesn’t make sense while talking.”  
“That’s nothing new” answered Kuro.

Together the managed to put Haise in bed and waited for him to fall asleep.  
***  
Next morning Sasaki woke up feeling something heavy on his chest. When he opened his eyes he saw Ken curled on his side with head on his chest. On his other side were twins spooning with Shiro clinging to Haise’s arm and Kuro hugging white haired boy from behind.  
“What happened here…?” Oldest brother muttered while looking on three boys in his bed. How did they even managed to fit in there, he wondered.  
“Oh, you woke up, haise-san?” To surprise Sasaki more, there was Hide standing on door to his room. “Breakfast will be ready soon, but don’t worry, I’ll bring it here. But don’t wake them up yet. Your brothers had long night.”  
“How did I came back? Yesterday was…”  
“Akira-san and Amon-san brought you home. Twins and Ken took care of you and stayed here for the night. We were really worried” Nagachika smiled sadly at him.  
“I apologize, I had no idea it would turn like that.” Haise tried to explain but Hide waved his hand at him.  
“It’s okay, I understand too, work at CCG. But they won’t be that easy.”  
“I know, they are as protective of me as I am of them. I’m scared of what punishment will they give me later. Hide? Wait with breakfast for them to wake up, I’m going back to sleep now.”

Haise lay his head on his pillow. He gently wrapped his left arm around Ken and took Kuro’s hand into his without letting go of Shiro’s hand around him. Hide waited for him to fall asleep again and then took a picture with his phone. He couldn’t let this occasion slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How was that? Overdramatic? Too much of something? Or was it good and you liked it? Please tell me and leave a comment ;)
> 
> I'd love to know what you think!
> 
> One thing: "V" organisation - in my AU there's still CCG and ghouls which have to be captured/eliminated. i'm not fan of a OC characters in fics and I'm not good at inserting them well, so i decided to go with V as villians. It couldn't be anteiku, bc i plan to make them good guys along with clowns (what? it's going to be happy, fluffy AU XD). V exists in TG's canon - we don't know them by names, but it's easier to use estabilished group set them as "bad guys." 
> 
> If you have any question about how I'm going to write something - feel free to ask, I'll try to answer, but I hope that all answers will come with chapters - bc I'm going to explain situation later on bit by bit.


	6. Home Is The Best For Recovering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaack. I know, I know - I promised regular updates but failed... Wel, you can blame me procastinating on university. Now I'm loaded with so much work I can't see the end of this. So what time is better to write about Kaneki-Sasaki family than this?
> 
> Well, I'm going back to german irregular verbs which are killing me.
> 
> WARNING: There are some spoilers for "Big Hero " - don't ask how it found its way to this fic, just read xd.

For the first time in his life Haise felt scared of his brothers. They managed to get him angry, worried, sad, but never, not even once he truly feared them. He was the oldest, responsible for them and he was the one who inspired fear in twins. But now, looking at faces around him, Sasaki started to pray for his life to be saved.

Please, he asked in his mind, whatever god or deity is listening to this poor artificial ghoul investigator, let me survive this. I’m not ready to die by my brothers’ hands, he cried inwardly.

Morning following the day of the operation wasn’t as peaceful as Haise wanted it to be. Nice and warm atmosphere accompanying his wake up between his brothers’ bodies didn’t last long. Boys woke up soon after Sasaki’s talk with Hide. They didn’t even ate breakfast before his brothers told him tjhey were going to have a serious talk. And there was one thing Qiunx’es mentor could say – they were angry.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t break a half of your bones. Because that’s exactly what you deserve after yesterday,” Shiro stated calmly as he was looking at his oldest brother. Haise knew things got serious if white haired boy was quiet in his fury. That were moments when he was the most dangerous.  
“I-I’m your brother, Shiro. You can’t hurt me.”  
“Family connections have nothing to do with this. You need punishment, so we’ll be sure you’ll never do anything like that”  
“I agree with Shiro this time,” said Kuro. “You need to pay us for what we experienced, nii-san. But not in violent way, that’s too barbaric.”  
“Kuro-nii is right, aniki,” added Ken. The boy was listening and observing Haise with tears in his eyes. Sasaki wanted to cry too seeing his youngest brother in such state. “We were so worried. You didn’t even call. And Hide didn’t know anything aside from that some mission was going on. We were going crazy here.”  
“Tsukiyama disappeared too. We couldn’t contact neither of you. It was the worst night in my life.”  
“Yeah, and then mom and dad bring you home half conscious, covered on blood. I swear, I thought Kuro would have had a heart attack and me and Ken would end with two dead brothers in one night. Like, give me a break, one death in family a day is enough. Don’t you dare do something like that again, or I personally kill you.”

Silence following this statement was awkward. Hasie wasn’t sure how to take this statement. Shiro had very strange way of expressing his concern.  
“Says the one who tried to attack Amon-san while asking what happened do nii-san. You were the one freaking out, with Kagune in full glory and all,” black haired twin accused.

While twins started to argue who reacted the most to night’s events, Sasaki was just watching them. He was feeling guilty for causing them pain, it was the last thing he wanted to do. To know they worried and stayed awake waiting for his return made his heart clench in his chest. At the same time he felt moved – their worries made him feel so loved. Being there, among them, while they were joking and bickering as always was all Haise wanted. But he had an explanation to deliver, they had rights to hear it.

“Guys listen to me,” three heads snapped in his direction in a second. “First of all, I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t want you to worry, you know it. The operation was supposed to end quickly, we planned to enter Kokuria from underground and take control of the building. If everything went well, we’d be done before dinner.”  
“But things didn’t went well,” Shiro more stated than asked. “What happened, Hai-chan?”  
“I can’t give you details, it’s CCG matter after all, but you can say we didn’t have full information on enemies’ numbers and strength. They surprised us, we even had to call for Aogiri Tree and other ghouls for help.”  
“That’s way Tsukiyama-san was involved. I know he’s working with CCG sometimes on difficult cases.”  
“That’s right. He was among those we called. But I’m sorry, Kuro, I have no idea what happened to him. Banjo-san should have some news, they were in same squad. I’m sure he’s alright, you know how strong he is.”  
“Yes, you are right, nii-san, there’s no need to worry about Tsukiyama-san,” Kuro smiled reassured. “Now, explain how you got injured.”  
“I wasn’t careful enough. Looked wrong way and before I knew what was going on I had my leg pierced by Kagune.”  
“Mom mentioned you were rescuing Candy-chan because he tired to play hero of the battle.” Shiro was imaging Kuki in place of his brother, injured and in pain. It gave him more pleasure than it should.   
“I had to help, it’s my responsibility. He is my responsibility. Urie is just impatient. He wants to success as soon as possible. I hope this operation will open his eyes. He has so much potential, it would be waste not to improve it in the future.”  
“Well, we hate the idea of you getting hurt for him, but knowing he was damsel in distress and you played knight on white horse… Oh my God, I just love this, I’m not going to let him live it!” Shiro was excited just from planning his future malicious jokes.  
“Don’t worry princess Kuki, I, your loyal knight, shall aid you in this battle. Please, stay behind me as I annihilate those ghouls” Kuro started reciting in dramatic voice. “Too bad knight ended injured and had had other knights rescue him. But still, Ken, you should post it as a fanfic on your Tumblr blog.”  
“I don’t thinks so. It sounds like a cheap teenage drama. I’m not going to set any of my OTPs in situation like this.” Ken looked sincerely offended.

Haise tried to look angry at his brothers but it didn’t work. After all, them laughing and making fun of whole situation meant he was forgiven.

***  
Sasaki was stupid to think that he could forget about incident and go back to normal life. He kept asking himself how could he be so naïve, it were his brothers after all. After breakfast he learned that Shiro is going to CCG headquarter to talk with Arima-san about Haise taking some days off to recover. He promised he’ll do everything, even argue with higher ups to assure his brother will have rest he deserves. Kuro and Ken with Hide were assigned to take care of investigator and make sure he won’t strain himself.

Of course, no one listened to Haise telling them he’ll be alright and they don’t have to change their plans for him. They had classes and work, last thing Sasaki wanted was to make more troubles for them. He was silenced by Kuro.  
“What household rules say when one of us does something to make others upset?”   
“That the one guilty has to obey wronged party no matter what they demand,” oldest brother answered.  
“That’s right. So you have no saying in what we are going to do with you.”

It could be worse, Haise reminded himself as Ken asked him sixth time in past hour if he needed more pillows.

***  
Kuro came back from work only to find his brothers in living room and crying out their eyes on some movie.  
“Noooo! It’s not fair. No, no, no! I refuse to believe in this! HE DID NOTHING WRONG!” Haise was a mess in the middle of sofa hugging a pillow and wailing.  
“I know what you mean, Hai-chan.” Shiro’s eyes were strangely red but he didn’t cry. “Tadashi reminds me of you, Hai-chan. Perfect older brother always where younger needs him.”  
“Don’t forget Baymax. He changed Hiro. He’s not just some created AI, he has feelings. Baymax gave Hiro so much loveeeeee!” end of the sentence was drowned in loud weep.

They didn’t even notice their last brother in the doorway.  
“Should I even ask what turned you into a fountain?”  
“Kuro, welcome homeeeee,” Sasaki tried to stop crying. Without success. “We were watching ‘Big Hero 6’ and it’s great. You’d love Taaaadaaaashiiii”  
“You should watch it, Kuro. Brotherly love in this is wonderful, just like ours.”  
“A-aniki,” Ken suddenly moved and grabed Sasaki’s hands. “Promise me one thing. Please, p-promise you will never, never build a personal care t-taker and won’t take me to any exhibition where fire can happen. Promise meeee!”  
“Oh Ken, you have my wooord. And you promise me you’ll never create a heeeero suit and start taking revenge on anyone no matter what they would do to youuuu!”  
“ As y-you wish, aniki!”  
“Ken!”  
“Aniki!”  
“Ken-chan! Hai-chan! Don’t leave me out of this, I want to promise you something too!”

Kuro just watched his brothers doing a group hug with movie’s credits still on tv screen and some nice rock song playing in the background. He soon joined them and started patting their heads and rubbing their backs while muttering words of comfort. It’s always nice when family spends time together, he thought, even if it’s crying over Disney movie.

***  
Week after operation in Kokuria Haise was finally allowed by his brothers to go back to work. They wasn’t happy to let him but after his wound healed had him in full strength boys had no reason to keep him at home.

The memory of his fragile body covered in blood at their doorstep was still strong. So they ordered Haise to text them every two hours. They wanted it to be every hour, but Sasaki negotiated and with some help form Akira-san it worked, but only if Hide checked on him at least two times a day and they were obliged to eat lunch together.

“Being overprotective must run in our family” Ken decided during the talk about new rules. “But it’s not a wrong thing, right, aniki? It shows how much we care for each other.”  
“Yes, Ken and if me giving you reports and letting Hide spy on me is going to make you calm, I’m willing to do this and anything more you want.” Sasaki ruffled Ken’s hair with smile.  
“Do you see this, Kuro? Children grow so fast. But we did good job rising those two, don’t you think?”  
“You’re right, Shiro, we are amazing parents. They finally understood what we were trying to teach them all this time.”

The four of them burst in laughing, nothing could ruin their mood now. They had each other and together they could everything.

***  
Kuro checked his cellphone again. After mission in Kokuria it become a habit to him. In week since battle in prison, Tsukiyama-san contacted him only once. It was just a short message sent while he was sleeping in his brother’s bed. It didn’t say a lot, just that Tsukiyama-san was back from mission and he hoped everything will be alright with nii-san.

Not a word about himself. And not usual mention of their next meeting. Kuro couldn’t say it was weird – it was just short text after tiring fight, not right place and time to talk about their plans. But silence following that text was unsettling. And it wasn’t just quiet – there was no contact with Tsukiyama-san. Every time Kuro tried to call his home, Kanae-san picked up and explained that “master Suu is absend” or “master Shuu is sleeping.”

He never disappeared for so long, thought Kuro, not since we became friends. He tried not to think how bitter word ‘friends’ tasted on his tongue, not to think how he dreamed of being more, much more. 

Just what is he doing? Kuro asked himself, I hope he’s not in trouble. Black haired twin remembered that Tsukiyama was once involved in illegal ghoul restaurants, more because of bad company than of his own evil intentions. He can be reckless sometimes.

“…I understand. It will be the best way.” Kuro heard Haise talking on the phone in his room. He intended to go to kitchen without paying attention to it, but something in his brother’s voice made him listen. “Let me apologize once again in the name of CCG. It always is a bad thing when our allies become injured in battles.” There was silence for a few minutes and when Kuro wanted to leave, Sasaki said something again. “I think you should talk to Kuro before you leave, Tsukiyama-san.”

Without thinking, Kuro burst into his oldest brother’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was it? I'm waiting for comments and opinions :)
> 
> Yes, Ken is secret fanfics writer. I wonder what OTPs he has... Maybe we'll find out later. who knows?
> 
> Oh, and last thing - how do you like my cliffhanger? Who's up for some angsty TsukiKane? Need to add some spice to this story...  
> Okay, I'm joking - this is my happy AU, everyone is going to have good ending here. I'm not that cruel (riiiiiiight) to make my babies suffer (too much).
> 
> Well, I had plot for next chapter in mind, but now Tsukiyama just invaded the flow of this sorry and I'm going to speed up his arc. Looks like the issue of how is true father to our precious brothers needs to wait.


	7. Want To Leave, Want To Stay, Need To Protect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to rin06rimichi - Happy Birthday!  
> I hope I made it in time, I have no idea what timezone you live in, so I'm posting it accodring to my timezone.
> 
> So, here are some birthday wishes: I wish you a lot of happiness and laugh in you life. I wish you success in university, work - whichever applies to you! Oooh, and I wish you a lot of nice stories to read in manga or fanfiction and nice series to watch in anime, may your OTPs become canon ;) Thank you for being born ^.^

Kuro burst into Haise’s room without thinking. He had to talk with Tsukiyama. He tried to reach him for whole week without success and now he hears him talking to his brother. That needs explaining.

“Is it Tsukiyama-san?” he asked Sasaki. He knew it was but question was appropriate. After all he was the calm one of twins. “I’d like to talk to him.”  
“Tsukiyama-san, Kuro wants to talk to you. Yes, okay. Good bye.” Investigator gave his cellphone to Kuro and left room closing the door.

Black haired man breathed deeply before putting phone to his ear.

“Hello, Tsukiyama-san, it’s been awhile.” He tried not to sound sarcastic. He realized he failed when he heard man on the other side gasping.  
“Kaneki-kun. I am awfully sorry for not talking to you earlier. It was rude of me.”  
“You just disappeared, Tsukiyama-san. You thought one text would be enough? I was worried.” Kuro hated the fact that he sounded like a jealous teenage girl but he couldn’t help it. When it came to Shuu he wasn’t able to think logically.  
“You shouldn’t be, Kaneki-kun. I’m tres bien! I just… couldn’t come to see you. And Kanae took my phone away after mission, so I wouldn’t escape him.” Tsukiyama voice was emotional as always, Kuro was sure he’d make big carrier in voice acting. With his dramatic acts it was given. It was also a blessing because too caught in his role, Shuu gave away easily important information. Like now much to Kuro’s delight.  
“And why would you want to escape from Kanae?” he asked innocently.  
“Heartbreak! Kaneki-kun, it’s not nice to corner me like this!”  
“And it’s not nice to just disappear on your friend.” Black haired student hoped that the ghoul didn’t notice how his voice broke a little on last word. “So, spill it or I’m going to ask Chie-san and you know that for right price she’ll tell me everything” He threatened.  
“Clamato, Kaneki-kun. Tres bien, I’ll tell you. But promise me, you won’t get angry. Or do anything stupid.”  
“You are in no position to give any conditions. You have no choice but to talk.”  
“So cruel, Kaneki-kun.”

***

Shiro was lazing around on sofa when he saw his oldest brother entering the living room with serious face.

“What happened, Hai-chan?”  
“Tsukiyama-san just called me. Kuro must’ve heard us and no they are talking.” Sasaki answered. “I hope everything will be alright. It’s not going to be a nice talk.”  
“Don’t worry, if something happen I’ll go and brake some bones in Shuu-chan’s body.” Shiro showed a thumb-up sign.  
“Violence is not an answer all the time, Shiro.” Haise sat next to white haired twin and patted his head.  
“I disagree. Pain is also ma way of teaching. If someone hurts my family they have to be prepared to experience even bigger suffering.”  
“If you shoot, you have to ready to be shot?” Haise asked.  
“That’s right, Hai-chan. In that way violence is best course of action. It’s simple and effective” Shiro smiled. “Well, on the other side, it may be Shuu-chan who needs protection. Kuro is after all my twin. He knows how to defend himself.”  
“We are talking about Tsukiyama-san here, Kuro has special feelings for him. It may not work.”  
“Are you trying to stop me from acting violent or encourage me, Hai-chan?” Shiro’s smile widened and he started to crack his fingers. “Because you are contradicting yourself.”  
“I’m just worried. You didn’t saw his face came, or rather barged, into my room. And with what Tsukiyama-san managed to tell me…”

Haise didn’t end his sentence. The sound of door slammed harshly echoed through the house. After few seconds He and Shiro heard someone running down the stairs and Kuro appeared in the living room.

“I’m going out now. I don’t know when I’ll be back, so don’t wait for me with dinner.”  
“Kuro, wait, are you going to see Tsukiyama-san?” Sasaki stood up and took a step toward black haired brother. “I don’t think it’s good idea.”  
“I have to see him. And beat some sense into him because it looks like he lost all his brain cells in Kokuria.” Without waiting for reply, Kuro left the room.

Worried for his twin, Shiro immediately rushed after him screaming “Hoe, don’t do this!” and assuring his oldest brother with “I’ve got this, Hai-chan!”

***

Shiro caught his twin in front of the front door.

“Kuro, wait!” he grabbed his brother’s arm. “It’s unusual for you to act like this.”  
“Why are you and nii-san freaking out? I just told you I’m going to see Tsukiyama-san. It’s not the first time, you know.”  
“Don’t play dumb” Shiro didn’t buy Kuro’s explanation. “Something’s not right. Hai-chan was worried because of something Shuu-chan had to tell you. And I didn’t see you so angry since the day Nami-chan was attacked by some thugs. And that was over a year ago. Tell me what’s wrong or I’m going to drag you into your room and lock up there.”  
“I could escape through window.” Kuro smiled.  
“I’d tie you up to your bed. Want to see how it feels?” Shiro was smiling too, his dangerous smile which was a promise of doom coming near.”  
“I’m not going to win this right?” black haired boy sighted with resignation. “Okay, let’s go for a walk. Neighbors may ask questions if stay too long in front of the house.”

They started walking in silence. When they reached a park few streets away from their house, Kuro started talking.

“Tsukiyama-san was injured in Kokuria” he said in quiet voice.  
“Yes, we know that. He texted you the following day when we were sleeping with Hai-chan” Shiro was confused.  
“Injured more than we were told. His injuries were more serious and he was unconscious for four days after the operation. Text was written by Kaede according to Tsukiyama-san instructions before he passed out. He didn’t want to worry us.”  
“You mean, he didn’t want to worry you” corrected white haired boy.  
“No, I meant ‘us,’ we are all his friends” Kuro answered ignoring snort from his twin. “So he couldn’t contact me. But now that he woke up, things don’t look much better.”  
“What are you talking about? Four days should be enough for a ghoul to heal.”  
“yes, it should be. But is not. Tsukiyama-san didn’t want to share details. He’s always so stubborn when it comes to talking about him…” Kuro paused for a moment and Shiro waited for him to continue. “I only know that he fought with a very strong Kakuja and it managed to hit some of his vitals. It was serious enough to slow down the healing.”  
Twins sat on a bench near a playground a continued their conversation.

“Okay, I understand why he wasn’t able to call you or meet. But why are you so impatient to see him?” inquired Shiro.  
“Because Tsukiyama-san is leaving tomorrow! He’s convinced that he’s a threat to me and wants to go to France and stay there until he’ll recover.” Kuro was angry and sad at once. “He say that it’s dangerous for me to be near him now or he shouldn’t come near me. Because of his wounds he’s always hungry a-and that my…” the last part of sentence was said too quiet for Shiro to heart it.  
“Can you repeat? I didn’t quite catch that.” He had an idea what might’ve caused Tsukiyama’s choice to distance himself from his twin but he wanted Kuro to say it aloud. He can be worried for his twin but he will never miss an opportunity to tease him.  
“T-that my smell is too delicious t-to resist. You know how he is. Anyway! He says that he might attack me in state he is right now.”  
“So, because he can attack you in the moment of weakness, you are going to visit him? I never thought you are a masochist, but with my sadistic tendencies it makes sense.” Shiro had great fun and wasn’t even hiding it.  
“No! I’m going to persuade him to change his mind. He doesn’t have to go to France to avoid me. He won’t hurt me, I know it. Don’t you see it’s crazy?”  
“Well, I don’t see a connection between those two things. Maybe he hit his head or something? And now something happened to his brain. He wasn’t normal before to begin with…”  
“He’s more normal than you, Shiro. Not a lot more, but still.” Kuro defended his friend. “But now he took it on a whole new level and I must show him he’s wrong. So don’t stop me, I’m going.”  
“…Be back before midnight or Hai-chan will freak out and start to look for you.

Shiro got up and started walking away towards their house. He’s a big boy after all, he thought, I can take care of himself. And Shuu-chan must be stupid to think that he can treat Kuro like that. It was ell known among the brothers that black haired student hates being left in the dark the most.

***

Shuu Tsukiyama loved living in luxury. Despite having an apartment in 20th Ward he also had a mansion on the outskirts of Tokyo. The latter was where Kuro found him.

Huge doors, leading to big hall filled with sculptures and paintings, opened before black haired boy had a chance to press doorbell. Kanae greeted him with worry in his eyes. 

“Master Kaneki, welcome. I suppose you are here to meet with master Shuu.”  
“Yes, where will I find him?” Kuro followed the assistant into the house.  
“He’s in his bedroom. I’m sorry, master Kaneki, I tried to help. He is convinced we should leave the town for a while. He is afraid he might hurt someone. It pains me to see master Shuu like that so please, talk to him. If it’s you, master Kaneki, I am sure master Shuu will listen.”  
“Don’t worry, Kanae, from the beginning I never planned to let him go.”

Two men stopped before door on the far end of corridor on second floor. Tsukiyama’s assistant knocked shortly before calling “Master, Shuu, it’s me, Kanae.”  
“And Kaneki-kun is with you. I can smell him even here. I told you to leave me alone.”  
“This selfish idiot!” Kuro snarled. “Kanae, it will be better for you to leave. Things might turn a bit… unpleasant.”  
“Yes, master Kaneki.” Rosewald bowed shortly. “I’m sorry to make you take care of master Shuu in such circumstances.”

After waiting for Kanae to disappear, Kuro focused on the door in front of him. He tried to open it but it didn’t work. Tsukiyama must’ve lock himself inside, but he was stupid to think it would stop Kaneki.  
Black haired boy activated his Kagune and without a second thought he slammed the door with it.

Wood broken into many pieces with a loud crash and Kuro entered the bedroom calmly.

He looks like he’s hunting a prey, thought Shuu. Violet haired man was frozen in his bed watching as Kaneki approached him.

Kuro almost stopped at the sight of his friend. Tsukiyama was sitting in his king’s size bed. His torso was covered with bandages, his kakugan was visible. His friend looked weak and tired. Around him were trays with empty plates. 

I have to do this, Kaneki reminded himself as he reached the bed.

“K-kaneki-kun?” Tsukiyama pressed his back harder to a pillows in futile attempt to escape. He didn’t have strength to do more. “Calmato, please? You should leave before I’ll do something-“  
“In your state? I don’t think so.” Kaneki hardly recognized his own voice. It sounded cold. But he didn’t care, he had to make Tsukiyama understand. “You are injured, you wouldn’t hurt a fly in condition you are right now.”  
“Kaneki-kun!” Shuu shouted in protest. “S'il vous plait, leave. I don’t want to hurt you like that time.”  
“You won’t.” Kuro tried to express his conviction in his voice. “That was in the past, everything changed since then.” 

Black haired boy reached his hand to touch Tsukiyama, but violet haired man avoided it. In one smooth move he hid himself under the quilt. Kuro worried about his wounds opening if he was moving so violently. Kaneki dropped his hand but sit down on the bed slowly. He hoped that if he moved gently it would calm Tsukiyama.

“You mentioned how we met.” Kuro started speaking. He waited for an answer nut when he received none, he continued. “You visited Anteiku during my shift there and we started talking. We got along pretty well, didn’t we? I was surprised because I usually don’t make friends easily.” Kaneki smiled at Shuu under the covers. “Few days later I was kidnapped by some ghouls and brought to this mansion. Here you told me I was going to be eaten by you. You said my smell was the most appealing thing in the word. There were also a lot of French words which I didn’t understand, but that’s not important.”  
“Why are you so cruel, Kaneki-kun? You know how I hate what I did to you.”  
“I’m sorry for remembering such things, I’m getting to the point. The thing is, you didn’t eat me. You started talking with me, listening to me and I started to listen to you. You didn’t want to eat me anymore. Our talk lasted few hours but you changed your mind.”  
“It would be a huge loss to many people. But I bitten you.”  
“Yes, you did” Kuro sighted. “But it healed fast – I’m half ghoul after all, remember? You stopped wanting to eat me because we became friends. We are still friends so why would you hurt me now?”  
“I’m really hungry. Ghoul’s hunger is hell, I-I may lose myself to it.” Kuro felt Tsukiyama trembling. He put his hand in place where he thought Shuu’s arm was and squeezed a little.  
“You are too strong to that, believe me. Look, I was here with you for half an hour already and you did nothing!”

There was some move under the covers and Tsukiyama showed his face to Kaneki.  
“Why are you so stubborn, Kaneki-kun? I’d be gone to France only for few weeks. It’s not like I wouldn’t come back.”  
“There’s no need for you to go at all. You were worried about me and I wanted to show you that you don’t have too. That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” Kuro tried not to think about the reason why his heart broke a little at the last sentence.”  
“Kaneki-kun, I…” violet haired man looked at Kuro with emotion he couldn’t read. “Merci for being here for me.”

Kuro had a strange feeling Tsukiyama wanted to say something else, but he didn’t call him on it. His friend looked tired already, there was no reason to tire him more.

“You look bad, Tsukiyama-san. Go to sleep” He said instead.  
“I have to eat first. Kanae should bring me a meal soon. But would you… stay with me for a little longer, Kaneki-kun?”  
“If you want” Kuro answered with a smile. Now he could smile, everything was all right, Tsukiyama stayed in Tokyo and Kuro could finally see him.

As if called, Kanae appeared at door with shock on his face. He stood there speechless with tray in his hands.  
“The door… It was the door from the Louvre. It was so hard to blackmail… I mean convince the government to give it to us… The door form Louvre… The Louvre… So much money… National treasure…” He kept muttering with tears in his eyes.  
“Oh, don’t worry, Kanae!” Shuu greeted his assistant with a smile. “It’s just the door. I was thinking about changing some things. Maybe now I should go with Taj Mahal style?”

Rosewald stopped his cries and looked at his master. It was the first time since mission in Kokuria, since he woke up Tsukiyama was so relaxed. And happy too.

Master Kaneki is really something, he thought. To make this change in master Shuu’s mood… Him falling in love with master Kaneki was really fortunate thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, how was it? Guys, please - wirte comments! I'd love to read what do you think about this story, what I messed up and what parts are good - that would give me an idea what I should improve. And I'd love to talk to you!
> 
> Isn't it a bit to dramatic? Or OOC? Tell me what you think ;)
> 
> At first i planned to end this chapter with confession, but I changed my mind. I plan a bit longer route for Shuuneki and mix it with other plot. But don't worry, there will be no more sad things between them!
> 
> You can expect next chapter in two weeks! next time:the battle of fathers take place! Arima vs Amon - who will win? ;)


	8. Other Members Of Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, once again~
> 
> So, so, so! I make it in time, thank any god who's taking care of me :D
> 
> And, here we have the battle of fathers! Beacuse every growing boy needs a good role model, right? 
> 
> And here we have our candidates: in left corner, dangerously beautiful, never deafeated, said to be really close with his long time friend Take, the hero of CCG in japan, Kishou AAAAAAARIIIIMAAAAAAAA!!!!  
> In right corner, young, but not worse than our God of Death, recently married to his work partner, loved by many respected by al, Kotarou AAAAAMOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!
> 
> Now, read and enjoy ;)

Saturdays at Anteiku were reserved for friends. Every week brothers met there with humans and ghouls they were close to. This week wasn’t any different from others.

Arima accompanied by Take and the Amons, Uta and Yomo sitting with Roma at the bar. Kirishima siblings and Nishiki were workings as waiters as their dad was talking to Haise. Somewhere in the background Sen Takatsuki, among ghouls known as Eto, was discussing her newest novel with Ken and Takizawa.

Quinx squad was sitting in the corner and talking among themselves. Even Tsukiyama was able to show himself although he wasn’t as lively as always. He was talking with Yamori and Naki about art galleries they visited recently.

Nishiki’s girlfriend - Kimi, Yoriko and Hinami were giggling about something, but no one was brave enough to ask what was that. Touka was stopping sometimes to add something in their conversation, but it was Ayato who made sure that girls’ cups and plates were always full.

Everything was peaceful and quiet. 

***

“It’s wonderful to see you back, Akira-san, Kotarou-san” anteiku’s manager appeared next to the couple’s table. “How was your honeymoon?”  
“It was nice, fighting ghouls in the moonlight on beach. I already told Kotarou that we should do this every year on our anniversary.”  
Akira’s words were followed by short sentence before Shiro decided to break it.  
“I always feel uncomfortable when she talks about killing ghouls with such delight. I can’t help seeing her going after me.”  
“You are only half-ghoul, Centipede. Imagine how do I feel!” added Ayato and took few steps back from female inavestigator and sat next to Hinami.  
“I’m happy you enjoyed yourselves.” Yoshimura carried like nothing happened. “Forgive me if this is rude question, but it’s an old people thing, you see.”  
“Yes, Yoshimura-san?” Akira looked interested.  
“Now that you are married, when can we expect children? I’d love to see kids running around Anteiku and playing together. It would again like when Eto was little.”

Amon turned red as tomato and Akira was frozen on her chair next to him. Haise thought that it was probably first time he saw her speechless. Shiro wanted to say something but was stopped by Kuro’s hand covering his mouth. Rest of café occupants was looking between the couple and Yoshimura like they were watching a tennis match. Even Arima looked amused.

Nishino was opening her mouth to say something, but her boyfriend shaked his head signaling her to stay silent.  
“You don’t want take part in this,” he muttered.

“Uncle, don’t worry! In few years I’m going to marry Kuro-niisan and we’ll have a baby then” said Hinami happily.  
“Oh, in that case I’m happy to hear-“

“WHAT?!”  
“Little lady, that’s-“  
Ayato and Shuu reacted at the same time. Both looked shocked and utterly scared. They stalked to where the girl was sitting and started a lecture.  
“Stop joking like that, Hina! Marriage is serious matter, you can’t decide on it like that.”  
“That’s right, my little lady, and I feel obligated to remind you that your future husband must also agree on that.”  
“Besides, Kuro is much older than you. Five years is a big gap.”  
“Ayato is right. Please, my little lady, clamato and let’s forget about you marring anyone in near future, shall we?” Tsukiyama sent her his best charming smile while Ayato was looking at black haired boy and murdering him with his eyes.  
“…Okay. But I still think oniisan would be great husband.” Hinami pouted.  
“Of course he would be” added Shiro. “My cute twin is the best husband material you can find. But it’s too early for him to plan wedding, Hina-chan. Wait a bit for a moment when he won’t be watched by this French freak and rabbit boy.”  
“Centipede! I’m going to kill you. Stop messing with Hina!” Ayato started shouting curses at white haired boy.  
“Fre-French freak? M-me? Ooooh, what a heartbreak! Kaneki-kun you don’t think I’m a freak, do you?!”

As Shiro tired to provoke Ayato more and Kuro did his best to calm Shuu, Akira and Amon started to relax. They were sure it was safe now and the issue of their future children will be dropped. But their hopes were crashed quickly.  
“You still haven’t answered Yoshimura-san question” said Arima and everyone looked at them again.

He must find their misery very amusing to press like that, thought Hirako, true sadist indeed.

“We have time. We got married over month ago…” Kotarou tried to answer.  
“I’m sorry to disappoint, but it won’t be soon. I have four problematic sons already. So I don’t feel like having another.” Akira gathered her composure after first shock.  
“Awww, mummy loves us to much to replace us with Amon’s kid!” Shiro smiled widely.  
“Mum, you finally accepted us. You have no idea how happy I am right now.” Haise was wiping tears from his eyes while Ken kept nodding next to him while looking at Akira with adoration.  
“Please, take care of us from now on. Not that you haven’t till now, but after a declaration I felt like I should say it” Kuro pretended to be serious.  
“Stop it, you jackasses. You called me your mother for a long time now. Don’t ask like I signed adoption papers.” Akira scolded them but smile on her face gave it away how fond she was of them and their behavior.

“Does that mean that Amon-san is the father?” asked Uta stopping his conversation with Yomo. “It would be natural assumption. After all he’s mother’s husband.”  
“Well, I must admit-“  
“I don’t think so.” Arima put his mug on table loudly.  
“Excuse me, Arima-san? I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about. Of course, they are like sons to me.” Kotarou was confused.  
“Being Akira’s husband doesn’t make him father to my boys. Haise himself said that I’m like father to him.” White haired investigator replied. “I watched after them for years with Akira, even before she met you. I still remember first time I saw Haise. He was a teenager entering Academy at that time. And his brothers weren’t half-ghouls back then yet.”

Hirako sighted inwardly, he could see what was coming next. He knew very well how Kishou felt about Kaneki-Sasaki siblings. Takizawa must thought similarly because he looked like he wanted to run. Akira almost face palmed. Brothers in question were watching two investigators with their mouths open and even Shiro wasn’t sure how to react. The rest went back to their talks and tried pretending not to see two grown men sending death glares to each other.

“Arima-san, maybe in the past he said something like that. But situation might have changed, you know. After all, you barely seen any of brothers for past few months. It took you almost a year to give Haise his book.”  
“But you don’t know if situation has changed, do you, Amon-kun? It’s not like any of my boys called you ‘dad’ like they did to Akira.”  
“They are not your boys, Arima-san. You don’t deny the fact you haven’t seen them for long. Don’t you care what happens to them?” Amon smirked at his opponent. He felt victory coming to him soon.  
“I was busy. It’s not easy being the best investigator in the country, Amon-kun. You know, cases to resolve, ghouls to eliminate. Only bad ghouls of course,” he assured all gathered. “Maybe you’ll find out how it feels one day. If you work hard enough that is.” The look on Kishou’s face screamed ‘superiority’.

Haise looked lost. He couldn’t say when or why things turned like that. Shiro asked for some snacks.

“I’ve never seen such good comedy” he justified. Ayato, who forgot he wanted to kill white haired boy few minutes ago, grinned at him and disappeared in kitchen. He came back quickly with a big bowl full of popcorn and gave it to him. 

Uta took his phone and started recording whole scene.

Akira looked resigned. She asked Yoshimura for a bottle of some strong alcohol to be able to listen.

“Oh, now you are going to insult my skill as investigator. Let me say one thing, Arima-san. Work is not everything. And being a father means you have come home and take care of your children. But keep going, who am I to stop you. But don’t be surprised when one day they won’t turn to you for an advice.”  
“You don’t have to worry. Maybe that’s true I’m not able to see my boys-“  
“Don’t call them yours, please.”  
“-as often as I’d like, but that doesn’t mean I don’t talk to them and check on them. I call them, they call me. And we talk. Oh, have I mentioned that I see Haise at work? We have spars together. And I help Kuro with his studies. I have interesting discussions with Shiro about ecosystem in Japan. Kuro sends me fanfics he writes. So who is better parent?” he ended in challenging tone.

“They realize that they aren’t our biological fathers, right?” Shiro stage whispered, but no one replied to him. White haired boy pouted at the lack of attention and went back to watching his ‘fathers’.

“Are you gloating, Arima-san?” asked Amon. “I didn’t expect that. But calls and e-mail aren’t enough. How a man as cold as you could raise a child?”  
“I’m not cold. Take will agree and so will my boys. Just because I don’t get so ease flustered like you doesn’t mean I don’t have a feeling.”  
“They are not yours. It’s hard to believe when you have an expression like that.”  
“You keep saying how bad father I am, but what did you actually do?” Arima looked at Kotarou questioningly. “I must point that I’ve never seen you visiting my boys-“  
“I asked you to stop calling them your boys.”  
“-and spending time with them. I might have not been able to do it for a while, but I still did more than you.” Arima ignored Amon’s reminders.  
“For one, I cooked dinner for them many times,” replied Kotarou.

Kishou visibly twitched. Everyone knew he hated when someone reminded him of his lack of cooking skill. Amon was walking on a thin ice here.

“Okay, I’ve had enough. We should settle this like true men. Let’s have duel! I’ll show you power of my Doujima 1/2.” Amon proposed unexpectedly.  
“I accept. The only one who can be father to my boys is me. Don’t cry when I defeat you. Ixa isn’t weak.”

“Help us, One-Eyed King, we are doomed if this goes longer,” cried Nishio.  
“I’m not sure even I can do anything. If I were to use my powers I’d destroy Anteiku. Dad would be angry. Sorry, Serpent.” Eto looked at him with sad expression.  
“Gentlemen, let’s stay calm,” said Tsukiyama. “Conversation and argumentation are much better way of proving who’s right and who’s wrong.”  
“You are right, Tsukiyama-san. I apologize for my behavior. It was not befitting of a CCG investigator.” Amon hid his weapon.

“Oh yes, I heard about those dinners. Wasn’t there one time when you gave twins food poisoning? Or when you burned whole turkey and caused a fire because you started fighting with Shiro because he was annoying you?” Arima alos his his quinque and went back to the topic they were discussing.  
“Accidents happen,” said Amon through his teeth.  
“But those were dangerous incidents, Amon-kun. I should worry about you coming anywhere my boys. Who knows what may happen next time?”  
“For the last time, Arima-san, they are NOT YOURS.” Kotarou started losing his cool. “It was two times. At least, I can prepare edible meal and we can’t say the same about you. I’m still traumatized form that time when you wanted to feed me with your soup.”  
“You just lack appreciation for gourmet food. One does not simply understands its beauty.”

“Did you really just quoted a meme form ‘Lord of the Rings’, Arima-san?” Haise managed to ask after a beat of silence.  
“Yes, I did. It was the book Ken lent me few years ago when we first met. I treasure it.”  
“After all this time?” Shiro couldn’t stop himself and earned a grin from Kuro.  
“Always.” Arima kept serious face. “Back to our conversation, Amon-kun, ma cooking may be too much for you. And my boys-“  
“I already told-“  
“-may like different kinds of food than me, so I don’t cook for them. But if you are so eager to do that, please don’t set my boys’-“  
“How should I make you… Are you stupid or what?”  
“- house… What?” Kishou looked at Amon with blank expression.

“Oh my, someone may need an undertaker here soon” said Shiro and this time Kuro gave him a kick instead.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just insult me, Amon-kun. I will believe you did this in heat of the moment and didn’t mean it.”  
“Of course, Arima-san. I’d never…” Kotarou looked apologetic.

“Tch, what a looser,” said Akira and only then everyone realized she emptied two bottles of sake. “All men are like that. Brave, fearless, but only if their own life isn’t at stake. You afraid, of saying Arima is stupid in his face, Kou? So weeeeaaaak… Do you even have balls?” She tried to reach to her husband’s crotch but he stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

Shiro and Kuro started laughing and even Ken couldn’t hide his amusement. Haise hid his face in his hands. Ayato covered Hinami’s eyes explaining that she’d have nightmares if she saw it while Touka and Yoriko blushed madly. The rest just watched what was going happen to next. Even Shuu was excited and muttered something in French, but no one understood him.

“A-Akira? What are you…?” Kotarou wasn’t able to end his sentence.  
“You want to be father so bad? Huh? Do you?” the blonde stood suddenly and caught Amon by his necktie. “If so, we should go back home and work on it! If that’s what you wish, I’ll grant it to you. Oooh, you aren’t getting any sleep tonight, I promise.”

Everyone were just watching as she started to drag a man much taller than her towards door. Uta kept recording whole thing. Such beautiful blackmail material, he thought. Amon had no other choice than follow his wife with face red from embarrassment.

“So, who is the father in the end?” asked Eto after couple disappeared.  
“Wouldn’t it be the best to ask Kanekis themselves?” said Nishiki. This whole mess tired him, so he didn’t care about working as waiter anymore. He just sat next to Kimi and drank her coffee.

Everyone looked at brothers waiting for an answer.  
“Why can’t we have two fathers?” Kuro replied with question. “We are crazy in the beginning, so having two dads wouldn’t be so bad.”  
“It’d be like we were kids of a gay couple! I like it!” Shiro beamed.  
“Come on, it’s not fair!” groaned Touka. “Pick one, it shouldn’t be so difficult.”  
“All of you are equally important to us, you know?” Ken asked and Touka had to turn away from his puppy eyes.  
“But if you insist we have to chose,” sighted Sasaki, “then I’d say Arima-san is like our father.”  
“He is similar to our real dad” said Shiro. “Similar characters, I’d say.”  
“But it’s not only that,“ continued Kuro. “He realy gives us that ‘dad’s vibe’. It’s hard to explain in words. But we feel it.”  
“Amon-san is great too. But he’s more like big brother. It’s more like he’s one of us helps us than he takes care of us as parent” explained Ken.

They were so earnest with their words that even Nishio couldn’t bring himself to mock them. And who knows what Arima will do to me, if I laugh now, he asked himself. Everyone went back to talking and drinking and eating, while Arima, now feeling safe about his position as father started talking to his sons about what happened in their lives recently.

Few people in the room wanted to ask if Kishou knew about relationship between Ken and Hide, who was absent. And if he didn’t his reaction could be priceless in their opinions, for sure. If twins and Haise freaked out, what would daddy say? But they wanted to spend the rest of the day in peace, not while trying to stop the most dangerous dove in Tokyo form committing a murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head it was much funnier :D. So, how was it? Good? Bad? Whatever you think, please, leave a comment :)
> 
> Your opinions are very important to me. If you write comments i have a feeling that there is someone who reads it and I'd actually love to know what you think about my plot and ideas!
> 
> Not to mention, comments are huge moivation to write and post more often ;)
> 
> I won't say what will be in next chapter, but I have a plan for it. Let's just sya it will be a big adventure for some of boys :D. Expect next chapter in two weeks ;)


	9. Birthday Party On A Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY, I'M SO SORRY
> 
> I don't even have an excuse why I'm late.
> 
> and I'm sorry for the ending of this chapter - you'll see what I mean when you get there... Remember, I'm cruel.

Haise was trying to decide how many bananas he should buy when a voice interrupted him from behind.  
“Long time no see, Sasaki-san.” A man greeted him with a smile.  
“Oh, Kirishima-san, good to see you to. How have you been?”  
“Pretty well, everything is fine, work hasn’t been busy lately and my kids didn’t cause any problems recently so I’m quite happy.”  
“I’m delighted to hear that. I’d love to say the same but you know, it’s never calm with Shiro around.” Despite the words Haise’s voice showed how fond he was of his brother. “Just yesterday I got a bill form some pet shop from Brazil with a name I can’t even pronounce. He spent two thousand dollars on a centipede. His love for this creatures is becoming too much to handle. With things going this way we may end up homeless soon.”  
“Oh, I don’t think he’d sacrifice your house for his hobbies.” Arata smiled.  
“I hope so. But, let’s not talk about my brother’s mental problems in supermarket.” Sasaki answered.  
“Actually, Sasaki-san, I wanted to ask you a favor.” The man looked around nervously as if he was afraid someone might eavesdrop them. “Ayato’s birthday are next week and I wanted to ask you if you could do something for him. You and your brothers.”  
“Of course, Kirishima-san. Ken and Kuro have been already thinking about birthday present. Are you going to throw a party like last year?”  
“No, this time Ayato said he didn’t want one. It’s ‘too girly’ according to him. Even the idea of inviting Hinami didn’t change his mind.” Father frowned a little at the memory of conversation with his son. “I think I may know what would made him happy and be nice form of celebration. But I’d need your help.”  
“I’m all ears, Kirishima-san. Let’s go grab coffee at Anteiku and you’ll tell me details.”

***

“Okay, let me repeat. Just to make sure I’ve understood correctly, Hai-chan.” Shiro looked at his older brother with confusion. “Ayato doesn’t want a birthday party so we are going to kidnap him and take him to have fun in town. And all of this is going to happen in only-men company?”  
“That’s right.” Sasaki was nodding with huge grin on his face.  
“And we are going to spend all day doing crazy things like we are kids again. And have fun.” White haired boy continued.  
“I’ve always knew you were a smart one among your brothers.” Haise showed him a thumb-up sign and ignored screams of protest from remaining two boys in the room.  
“I’m in! It’s going to be one hell of birthday celebration!” Shiro grinned maniacally. “Oh, I’m going to find some really nice places to go, give me the laptop, Kuro.”

Black haired twin passed his computer to Shiro and focused on Haise.  
“I get the idea, but why us? Why his dad and Touka won’t take him?”  
“Touka is… A bit overprotective. Kirishima-san said she almost got a heart attack when he mentioned this idea to her. She found many reasons why we shouldn’t this – Ayato may get lost, what if food form restaurant will give him a food poisoning, the crowds at concert are dangerous, someone may attack him, it may be dangerous if he shows his kakugan. The list went on and on” explained investigator.  
“…I get the kidnapping part now. You are aware she’ll kill us if something goes wrong, right?” Kuro knew that his doubts won’t change anything, his brothers were set to go with this plan no matter what.  
“Relax, brother dearest. I’m taking part in this, what could go wrong?” Shiro looked at his twin from above the laptop with innocence on his face.  
“So many things” all three boys answered in unison.  
“ I hate you” Shiro muttered and went back to his search.  
“That’s not true. You love us the most in the world. And we love you.” Ken got up from his place on sofa and went to his white haired brother. He stood behind him and hugged his neck. “But it doesn’t change that you bring chaos with you everywhere.” 

***

Brothers managed to convince more people to take part in the celebration. In the end it was the four of them, Tsukiyama, Hide and Uta. 

Shuu provided a car. He promised to find something matching the occasion and on the day of Ayato’s birthday appeared in shiny black limo with Kanae as driver.

Uta was responsible for taking care of money and whatever tickets they had to prepare in advance.

Nagachika was there to make sure any of them, especially Shiro, won’t cause too many problems. His sunny personality would help to prevent bigger conflicts.

No girls were allowed to come with them. And Ayato’s dad didn’t go with them, because he was sure the birthday boy would have more fun with friends than with his father.  
“Teenagers are strange species. They see parents as their worst enemies. He’ll be more relaxed with you and without me there to look after him. You have no idea how much he looks up to you four.” said Arata when Haise asked him.

On the special day, July 4th, men put the plan in motion. Ken make sure to have Touka outside the house. He asked Yoshimura to give her morning shift in Anteiku on that day. Their dad was at home and had his own part to play in the scheme. Kirishima’s role was to make Ayato open the door when twins knocked to kidnap him.

***

After three knocks twins heard someone talking inside the house and then steps toward the door. When Ayato appeared they burst in loud voices:  
“Happy birthday, Ayato-kun!”  
“Happy birthday, Yato-chan!”  
“What the hell are you doing here?” teenager answered in a harsh tone.  
“Language, Yato-chan!” Shiro grinned at boy. “Is this how you welcome people who come to you with birthday wishes and a present?”  
“Only annoying ones” Ayato mocked. “Well, where’s my present then?”  
“We couldn’t bring it to you. You need to go with us to get it” said Kuro. “Before you ask, you don’t have a choice.”

Without waiting for response from the boy, Shiro grabbed Ayato by his waist and threw him on his shoulder. Young Kirishima froze for a second and when he came to his senses it was already too late, twins were half way toward the waiting limo.  
“Wha-? Hey, wait! I said wait!” he screamed. “I don’t have time for your games! Hina is coming soon!”  
“Oh, Hinami-chan?” asked Kuro. “Don’t worry, I’ll call her and say you cancel your meeting.”  
“Don’t you dare, you stupid Eyeptach! And you, Centipede, put. Me. Down. Now”  
“Oh, I’m so scared Rabbit Boy, really.” Shiro was having so much fun that it looked like it was his birthday not Ayato’s. “Now, be good boy and let us take you for a special trip. W e prepared it just for you.”  
They reached the car and Kuro entered it first. Shiro proceed to throw Ayato on the back seat next to his twin and jumped inside after the boy to prevent his escape.

***

“So, are we going to eat? Special dinner or birthday cake? I know birthday boy is a ghoul so human food is out of question, but do you have a TFH or something?”

They were going toward their first destination while explaining Ayato what kind of present they had prepared when Hide became curious and asked this question.

“What TFH even mean, Hide?” Haise was confused.  
“Tokyo Fried Human.”

There was short silence before hell borke inside the limo  
“You didn’t just…” Kuro looked truly terrified.  
“I didn’t hear about that one, but I can make some homemade dish, would you like some Shiro’s Fried Hide?” white haired twin glared at the blond.  
“To compare a true gourmet restaurant to some cheap fast food? Heartbreak! Blasphemy!” Tsukiyama was having a little heart attack in his seat next to Sasaki.

Shuu’s screams alarmed Kanae who almost crashed into a bus in front of the limo.

“I’m sorry, Hide, but even I can’t believe you said that. I can’t protect you anymore. I hope shiro-nii won’t be too cruel while cooking you.” Ken was faking being sad.  
“hey, hey, guys!” Nagachika was pale and looked like he wanted nothing more than to just run away. “It was just a joke! I know you don’t have things like that! PLEASE, DON’T KILL ME, SHIRO-NIISAMA!” he started to scream when he noticed Shiro tried to stand up from his seat.

Whatever white haired boy wanted to do was stopped by a laugh. In the beginning it was silent, but as minutes went it became louder and louder. At the end Ayato was crying from laughter.  
“Oh, my god. You are just crazy!” He tried to calm himself down. “Okay, so show me what you prepared for me. But beware, I’ll be very angry if it won’t please me.”  
“Just for today, we’ll let you boss us around.” Shiro ruffled boy’s dark blue hair. “But just a little so don’t get cocky.”

***

They started with aquarium. Everyone knew Ayato loved tropical fishes so twins proposed to take him and show him the rarest species, which luckily were kept in aquarium in 13th Ward. Shiro proclaimed himself a tour guide, saying that he, as biology major, was the best choice. Voices reminding him that he specialized in insects fallen on the deaf ears.

“Aaaand on the left we can see scalars. Their elegance and grandeur make them stand out among other fishes.” Shiro took his job seriously and tried to imitate voice of professional tour guide. “They appear in many colors.”  
“They originate from Amazon Basin, Orinoco Basin and various rivers in Guiana Shield in South America” added Ayato looking at water tank on the left where scalars were swimming. “Did you know they form monogamous pairs and take care of their eggs together? They create families just like us.”

The rest of the group followed the two boys in small distance and listened to their explanations. They knew nothing about fishes so it was the only thing they could do.

“I can’t believe it’s the same grumpy Ayato I see almost every day” said Kuro looking at the mentioned boy with awe.  
“You are right, Kaneki-kun. Today he looks very dolce! I’d go far and say that he even sparkles!” answered Tsukiyama.  
“For bananas sake, Tsukiyama-san, please, no ‘Twilight’ references! I’ve had enough after huge pillow fight between twins about which team is better – Edward or Jacob. It took them a month and in the end they decided that both were bad choices.” Haise shivered at the flashback of those events.  
“I’m sorry, Sasaki-san, I didn’t want to awake bad memories, but honestly It’s like in a moment I’ll see stars and sparkles around Ayato-kun and hear birds singing and flying above him.”

There was a moment of silence before Uta decided to break it.  
“There’s really something wrong with your head and imagination, Shuu-kun.”  
Before Tsukiyama could answer that, Shiro interrupted them with angry accusations.

“Would you pay attention to what we are saying? It’s a one in life occasion to listen to such great animal specialists and you are wasting it on commenting how cute Yato-chan is. The thing is he’s always cute, but you ignorant can’t see past his tsundere attitude!”  
Young Kirishima blushed furiously and the rest looked at white haired twin speechless.  
“I’m taking back what I just said. Shiro has even bigger mental problems than Shuu-kun.” Uta was first one to recover.

“Now, going back to our little tour…” Shiro grabbed Ayato and walked away with the rest of the birthday party hurrying after them.

***

“The last stop – Siamese fighting fish, commonly known also as betta.” Shiro stopped in front of another huge water tank. “Pease do not confuse it with alpha-beta-omega dynamic so often seen in fanfictions.”  
“I may regret it, but what is alpha-beta-omega dynamics?” asked Haise innocently looking at Shiro with big eyes.

For a moment no one knew what to do. Ayato chocked on air and focused his attention on fishes in the tank ignoring the disaster behind him. Shiro looked truly lost. He sent his twin a look that was saying ‘help me here, I don’t want to break him’. Uta just started snickering and observed hw things would go. Ken didn’t show any emotions and Nagachika had to hide his mouth behind his hand not to show how much he wanted to laugh. It was Tsukiyama who answered Haise.

“Umm, Sasaki-san, it’s… You see… HEARTBREAK! I don’t know how to explain it! Not when he looks at me with so much innocence in eyes!” Shuu started crying and threw himself at Kuro looking for help. Everyone could hear him mutter into the shoulder of black haired twin “Such pure cinnamon roll, too pure, too good for this world...”

“Aniki, let me explain.” It was surprisingly Ken who decided to save his brothers and friends. “It’s a kink trope. See, it’s assigning to people in relationship roles according to hierarchical system. You know, alphas are dominant, betas are their subordinates and omegas are the lowest in the ladder, submissive partners of alphas. Sometimes werewolves are involved or other animalistic elements.”

As the youngest Kaneki was talking to his brother, rest of them was observing Sasaki’s reaction. His face changed from questioning to confusion to disbelieve to horror.

“I-I understand now, thank you, Ken. It’s definitely interesting. But how do you know about this, little brother?”  
“I must admit, I’m interested in this too. I’ve never expected Ken-chan to have a knowledge in this area.” Shiro smiled mischievously.  
“I have to do research if I want to use something in my works. Sometime ago I posted on my blog-“  
“On the second thought, I don’t actually want to know. White haired twin interrupted his brother.  
“Guys, are you done? Before we leave I just have to see sharks” Ayato turned from the tank he was looking at. “I know that educating Sasaki-san on fandom related stuff is important, but I don’t want him to have mental breakdown on my birthday party because he realized Ken-san isn’t as innocent as he seems to be” Kirishima snickered at the last sentence.  
“Shattered views may apply to Hide instead. It looks at Ken like he sees him for the first time in his life,” said Uta.

***

“JUST KICK HIM, YOU LOSER! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? I SWEAR, IF YOU WON’T GET UP THIS MOMENT, I’M GOING DOWN TO PICK YOU MYSLEF!”  
“YATO-CHAN IS RIGHT! GET UP, KICK HIS BALLS AND END IT FAST! I BET MONEY ON YOU!”  
“BRAVISSIMO! KEEP GOING, MY WARRIOR! VICTORY IS OURS! HE’S ALREADY LYING, FINISH HIM!”

After visiting aquarium party went to the next attraction, which was the arena of mixed martial arts fights. The existence of this place wasn’t legal and Haise was against going there, but Uta helped to persuade him. According to his words, they were a bunch of mismatched psychopaths and possibly sociopaths with violence tendencies and hidden perversions and for some, he said looking directly at Shuu – masochistic streaks.

And they ended in the VIP box courtesy of Tsukiyama with the perfect view on the fights taking place. They had snacks, both for humans and ghouls. The last ones freaked Hide a bit, but after few minutes of staring at them, he admitted they didn’t look as scary as he thought they would. Gathered ghouls had to admit that ken’s boyfriend was very brave and open minded or just insane. Both choices matched they group so no one paid it attention.

Looking at fights in front of them made them cheer for fighters. Party divided in two teams because during each fight they couldn’t agree on the same fighter to support. Every time Shiro and Ayato sided against Tsukiyama backed by Uta and Kuro, but the last one did only because of loyality toward his best friend.

“Or rather because you like that he hugs you when his fighter wins?” Shiro whispered into his twin ear and in answer received a kick to his shin.

Haise was watching the fight with hands on his eyes, only peeking through his fingers and wincing when he heard sounds of body slamming the floor. Ken and Hide focused on food and talking.

“YES! AMORE! DOLCE! VICTORY! VENI, VIDI, VICI! AS SAID JULIUS CEASAR! MY FIGHER WON!” Tsukiyama started small victory dance in the middle of their box and gave Kuro an bones crashing hug. Uta was quietly cheering in the background doing a one man version of Mexican wave.  
“You owe us thousand yen each,” said tattoo artist with smug expression after he was done with celebrating.  
“I refuse! This bet shouldn’t be valid!” argued Shiro. “Fighter’s name was Nutcracker and she didn’t do any! We were tricked! If she wasn’t doing what she should this fight doesn’t count. We won’t be paying!”  
Next to him Ayato was nodding vehemently.  
“Stop being sore loser, Shiro. Maybe she didn’t crack any nuts because she was overwhelmed by her opponent? And she didn’t have a chance to do so?”  
“And you, my dear twin against me? How could you? We are sharing blood, you know.”  
“Sorry, it doesn’t change the fact, that you lost the bet. Pay with money or body, both is fine with me.”  
“Is it an offer?” Shiro smirked.  
“Shiro-nii, stop it. I don’t think aniki can handle this display of incest.”

***

After afternoon spent at the arena, group drove Ayato to his house. When they arrived, boy exited the limo and turned to the rest, still in the car.  
“I didn’t ask for this and I seriously have no idea who and why came up with this crazy trip. I planned to have a lazy day or go somewhere with Hina, but… It wasn’t bad I suppose. I had fun, so, um, thank you.”  
Corners of his lips twitched a bit.  
“World is going to end, Ayato Kirishima just smiled,” said Uta in a grave voice.  
“Oh, shut up. Really, are you going to make-“  
Rest of the sentence drowned in squeal made by Shiro when he jumped from the car and tackled blue haired boy to the ground with hug.  
“You are so cute, Yato-chan! We should spend more time together so I could see more of this cute face.” White haired boy pinched Ayato’s cheeks.  
“Get up from me, Cenitpede,” growled Kirishima.  
“Kuro, stop your twin from hitting on a fifteen years old. It’s not legal.” Haise was done with his brother.  
“Hey! I’m not-“  
Shiro was yanked back into the car before he could defend himself. Ayato got up from the lawn in front of his house and saw black haired twin pushing his brother on the seat next to him. Then the whole grup turned toward Kirishima and said in unison:  
“Happy birthday, little rabbit!”  
Without waiting for angry outburst on the nickname they shut the door end speeded away.

***

“I must admit, I like this limo,” said Sasaki looking at leather seats and mini car.  
“Tsukiyama-san doesn’t use it often. It’s not practical.” Ken turend from the view outside the window.  
“Then, why not use it while we all have free time?” asked Shiro. “We all can go to town and have fun. Is not every day when we have a limo on our disposition. Or such a great team to go together?”

It’s going to end bad, thought Haise, but didn’t protest when the rest agreed happily. Very bad…

***

Next morning first class ghoul investigator, mentor of Quinx and probably successor of Arima found himself in humiliating situation. He and his beloved twin brothers woke up in a cell. In a police station somewhere in 17th Ward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first - Ayato. Isn't he a bit OOC? I think I overdid him a bit.
> 
> Second, pop culture refernces. i know it may look a bit wierd in TG, but this is happy!AU, co if they could lead normal lives wouldn't they be on board with all of this? 
> 
> Third, I'm in love with fanfiction writer Ken and no one is going to stop me! I know, I know - it's strange how I'm swooning over my own character (or my hc version of him to be precise), but whatever, who cares. In the future there's going to be more of this - after all, Ken ships his brother with Shuu and all. Who wants to know what kinky ideas he can come up with? I certainly do.
> 
> Fourth, the cliffhanger! Oh yes, I had to *evil laugh*
> 
> Fifth, please, PLEASE, leave a comment :)
> 
> Okay, that's it - love you all! And till next time - i can't promise next chapter in two weeks, but it won't be more than a month, that's for sure!


	10. Manly Adventures Are Caused By Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a month? Really? Oh my God i hate myself for this long break. There were many reasons I couldn't write, but still, i hate myself.
> 
> Will it make you hate me less if i say I sincerely apologize? Beause I am sorry.
> 
> With this chapter we start in a way arc about our dear haise and his love life! It wasn't planned before I started writing this chapter, but our dear investigator was stubborn and demanded attention. And who am I to decline? :D

It started innocently. The limo took them to nearest club recommended by Shuu. It was high class place were both, ghouls and humans, were allowed.

 

The moment the entered, Shiro abandoned his company and went directly toward dance floor. There he started using his irresistible charm on people around. He danced with one girl after another in a bit suggestive way. In the middle of sweating bodies jumping in the rhythm of music he moved smoothly attracting those around him. Kuro noticed with amusement that in less than five minutes he had a small crowd gathered around him. His twin brother loved to flirt with people and bedroom eyes he used whenever he were in club helped him a lot.

 

“So, let’s drink, shall we?” Tsukiyama lead them to empty box, where they could sit comfortably on sofa.

 

They ordered some sake for humans and half-ghouls in their group and some blood based wine for ghouls.

 

It’s really going to end badly, thought Haise as was given his drink.

 

***

Somewhere during their third bottle of sake Shiro returned to the rest. He had a phone number written on his wrist. His hair were a mess and he had sweat on his forehead from dancing. White haired boy took one look on Ken and Hide before bursting into laugh.

 

“Get a room, you two,” he chided. “Hai-chan must be  really drunk if he lets you behave like that. I’m not that nice, so Hide-chan, if you want to see next down, better make Ken-chan disappear from your lap.”

 

Shiro did his best psychopath’s face and Nagachika tried to free himself.

 

“He felt asleep, I swear, Shiro-oniisama! He’s not good with alcohol, he only drunk maybe three cups before passing! I’d never do anything indecent to Ken in such place.” Blonde defended himself.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I just love that expression of pure terror on your face you have when I threaten you,” white haired twin sighted with delight. “Now, take a cab and go home with Ken-chan. I give you permission to stay over. No, shoo, I want to drink too and then take other guys… Oh, where’s rest actually?”

 

Shiro looked around. He saw only Haise hugging a bottle of sake like it was his treasure and muttering something no one could understand. But where were Kuro and Shuu? And Uta? Especially Uta, knowing him, he could be doing some deals with neighborhood yakuza visiting club right now.

 

“T-there,” Hide pointed the most further corner of the box. There was last Kaneki with flushed Tsukiyama. Kuro was whispering to his companion and smirking at him. One of his hands was stroking violet hair of his friend, other one was playing with button of Kuro’s shirt. Shuu was just nodding eagerly.

 

“And there,” Hide pointed in another direction where Uta was. Tattoo artist was taking selfie with some strangers on the bar. Shiro wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw Roma, his partner from laboratory classes.

 

“Okay, good. Forget drinking now, we should leave before Uta-chan decides to replace the DJ.” Decided white haired boy. “But don’t worry, Hide-chan. You only worry is to bring my little brother home safely.”

 

They parted soon after, Nagachika going to call a cab with asleep Ken on his arm and Shiro to throw his brothers and friends into limo and go have fun in other place.

 

***

“I should call him! He should know what he’s doing to me! I’m fed up with his attitude!” Haise sober up a bit when Shiro and Keade transported him into limo.

“Call who, nii-san?” asked Kuro without looking up from Shuu, who’s head was placed on his lap. Black haired twin was still stroking Tsukiyama’s hair.

“Urie of course! He’s the worst investigator I’ve ever met. He always try to plunge my authority and he opposes my every decision.”

“He’s just pulling at your piggy tails, Sasaki-san,” sighted Shuu from his place on Kuro’s lap. Despite stopping drinking after leaving the club, he looked more and more drunk.

“I don’t have piggy tails. Stop saying nonsense, Tsukuyama-san. Are you drunk?” Sasaki couldn’t even focus his eyes on violet haired ghoul. “I think you are. I’m not. And I know I don’t have piggy tails. Or I do? Shiro, do I have piggy tails?

“No, Hai-chan you don’t. You have strange ombre hair, but not piggy tails for sure,” snickered Shiro. He didn’t get to drink at club so he bought two bottles of sake and started drinking in limo with Uta. Rest was to spent to join them. White haired boy could already feel alcohol working inside his body.

 

From corner of his eye he saw Uta recording whole scene with his cell phone. He showed him a thumb-up sign.

“if you are sure, then call Cookie-chan. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. Fight for yourself, Hai-chan!” Shiro knew Haise will hate him for that, but he couldn’t help it. Listening to angst Sasaki was too hilarious. And if Kukie tried something, Shiro would gladly remind him why no one messed with Centipede and his family.

 

Without further thinking, Sasaki took out his phone and started dialing a number.

“Kukie? It’s Haise. Yes, I know it’s two AM, but I need to tell you something. No, I’m not joking. I’m not drunk. Why are you asking. No… No… I am… No. Just shut up and listen, will you?”

 

There was short pause and then Sasaki started talking again. Everyone, even drunk Shuu listened to investigator talking.

“You know, it hurts when you treat me like your enemy. We are in one squad, we should work together. And you, every time, every time must to say something against me. And you are pushin me away when I try to come close to you. Do you hate me so much? Please, don’t hate me! I’m not sure I’ll be able to stand it if you hated meeee!” he whined. “Because you know, you are so cool and good in fighting. I get chills every time I see you in action. And you ass. Yeeees, it’s very nice shaped. Like it’s made to squeeze it. I’d like my hands on your ass, Kukieeee. Can I put them there?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” decided Kuro. He leaned forward and yanked phone from Sasaki’s hand and ended the call.

“But whyyyy? I was just starting!” pouted Sasaki. “It wasn’t bananice of you, Kuro.”

“Any longer and you’d start describing what you want to do with the rest of him.”

“Or having phone sex right here. As much as it would be funny to watch, for your own good, we can’t allow that. You should remember your first time,” added Shiro.

“Sorry to interrupt, but where exactly are we going now?” asked Uta.

“To the airport. I have a flight scheduled,” answered Tsukiyama. “But don’t ask for details. It’s a secret.” He giggled and put a finger on his lips.

Kuro mimicked his gesture and nodded.

 

***

Ken felt someone helping him get into the house. He turned his head and touched person’s neck with his nose. Ah, it’s Hide, he thought. He tried to regain control over his body so his boyfriend didn’t have to drag him all the way to his room, but he failed.

“Don’t worry, Ken, I got you,” said blond boy.

“I… ‘orry. S’much trou…ble ‘or youuuu.”

“Heh, well, I shouldn’t let you drink. I know how low tolerance you have. No need to apologize.”

“You warm, ‘ide. ‘anna sleep with youuu.” Ken was aware his words barely had sense, but he  still tried talking.

“I’m staying with you tonight. Shiro-oniisama gave me his permission.”

“Oh… ’ood. Shi-nii likes ‘ou. And ‘thers toooo.”

 

They arrived at Ken’s bedroom. Hide helped his boyfriend lie on bed and took of his shoes and clothes, leaving him in boxers. Then he followed suit. Whe he was done, he climbed next to Kaneki, black haired boy snuggled to Nagachika without waiting, putting his head under blonde’s chin. He felt Hde hugging him and pressing kiss on his forehead.

“Good night, Ken,” he whispered.

 

***

When they arrived at the airport, where private plane for Tsukiyama waited, Shuu and Uta had to hold Kaede. Shuu’s butler and friend in one tried to stop his master and when it failed wanted to go with him. Kaneki couldn’t allow that. Who would drive the limo?

 

Kuro, who was probably as drunk as Haise – what meant a lot, explained to Rosewald that Tsukiyama was fine on his own and didn’t need a babysitter. Funny thing with drunk Kuro, decided Shiro in his mind, is that he doesn’t show how wasted he is. He’s perfectly normal in the way he speaks or moves, but he becomes bolder, like when he touched Shuu casually. If sober, he wouldn’t dare more than put hand on his arm, and her he was, hugging violet haired ghoul and if Shiro saw right, his twin also tried to grope his ass.

 

Shiro had to admit the he too was a bit drunk, but not enough not to notice two funny his brothers were.

 

With Tsukiyama gone to God knows where, three brothers and Uta went back and asked – in Kuro’s case – or ordered – in Shiro’s – to take them to 17th Ward.

 

“What now? Are we going to Kukie? I shouldn’t call to him. I need to explain. I should tell him I like his ass in person not via phone call. Shirooo, take me to Kukie!” Haise was still in his own little world.

“Sure, sure, Hai-chan! We’re just going to him. You’ll be able to explain everything and maybe even get lucky,” assured white haired boy.

“Good, Shiro. You are the best brother I have.”

“Hey, what about me?” asked Kuro with heartbroken face. “I’m Shiro’s twin! We are almost one person! If he’s the best, then so am I!”

“Kuroooo, you were too busy swooning over Tsukiyama’s hair to notice my problems with Kukie. Not that I’m surprised. Shuu has wonderful hair,” Sasaki sighted dreamily.

“Back off, nii-san. Suu-san’s hair are off limits to anyone but me. No looking, no touching, not admiring, understand?” In this moment he reminded Shiro so much with his murderous expression even Uta felt a bit scared.

“Sir, yes sir!” answered Haise.

 

True to Shiro’s words they appeared in the area where Urie’s flat was. They told Kaede to go home and that they were good on their own. Rosewald didn’t wait long and disappeared in a blink of an eye. Probably to chase his dear master in his trip to… Somewhere.

 They just exited the limo when Uta decided it was time to capture memories and pulled twins into surprise selfie. They barely managed to flash grins toward camera before he snapped a photo.

“You are such selfie addict,” commented Kuro. “What do you do with all those photos?” he asked as the four of them make their way toward Urie’s aprtament.

“Post them of course. On Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram or just on Facebook. Look.” Tattoo artist clicked something and showed his phone to twins.

 

It was two photos from club. One was a selfie Uta took at the bar with girl who was indeed Roma. The second one captured rest of the group in their box. With Ken on Hide’s lap, Haise hugging a bottle and Kuro making Tsukiyama turn bright red in the corner. Shiro was in the photo from behind, so his amused face wasn’t seen. And that’s good, decided white haired student, if my dear brothers find this out I’ll be able to say I was trying to help.

 

“We’re here! Oh-!” said Sasaki but he was cut by someone who bumped into him. Twins, even drunk, immediately followed their instinct to protect their older brother and appeared next to him.

 

A  teenage boy with raven black hair and hairclips o his bangs, keeping it from his forehead bumped into Haise. He was rather small and had cheerful smile on his face.

“~Aaah! I’m so sorry! It was so careless of me! I hope I didn’t hurt you, mister? Juuzo is a good boy, he doesn’t want to hurt people.” Boy started bowing earnestly.

“No, no, I’m okay. My brothers are drunk, but I’m good. But you shouldn’t wander in the streets so late. Hurry up home, kid,” Sasaki smiled.

“I will, mister! I was back from friend’s birthday party.” He hurried past Kanekis, but when he was in a distance he turned around and yelled, “thanks for the treat, mister! I’ll spend it well, I promise!”

 

He waved Haise’s wallet and run away before any of brothers, or Uta who kept snapping photos of the whole scene, could react.

After first shock passed Shiro threw himself in chase. Kuro with him. Haise tried but with all alcohol he drank it was impossible. So he just sat down on the pavement and started lamenting loss of his precious wallet.

“It was a present from mum and Amon! I can’t lost it! I have  discount coupons for bananas there!”

Uta recorded crying investigator with his phone, mentally counting how much he could earn by selling this to their friends.

 

***

Shiro and Kuro weren’t able to catch the boy what depressed Haise more. But he recovered quickly when Uta, helpful for once, reminded him of Urie’s ass.

 

White haired twin wasn’t sure what to think of the fact that it was Cookie-chan who made his older brother smile like a school girl in love. Kuro, without Shuu near, became more melancholic, and in the effect, more romantic.

 

“He lives here, right?” he asked. “You know which windows are his?” He waited as Sasaki nodded. “Then there’s only one option. You have to serenade him!”

“Serenade? But I don’t have a guitar. Or flowers. Do you think Kanae can get me some red roses?” Sasaki’s voice was miserable. He really did want this to work.

“Kanae is probably stalking Shuu-san in Hawaii, so it’s impossible, sorry nii-san.”

“Wait, Hawaii?” inquired Shiro. “What the banana’s sake he’s doing in Hawaii?”

“You are talking like nii-san. I wanted some laulau, so he promised to bring me some. It’s a native Hawaiian dish, so he went to Hawaii to get this,” explained black haired Kaneki.

“There’s so many wrong things with this I don’t even know where to start. And that’s something if I of all people am saying that,” Shiro shook his head.

“Back to main topic. We don’t have guitar and roses, but we have Uta and his wonderful, probably illegal phone, because I’m sure it has more functions that is allowed in phones which don’t belong to Secret Service. Or CCG.” Kuro turned to their older brother. “He can find us nice music and you’ll sing. Me and Shiro will take role of a choir.”

“You sure it will work?” Haise still had doubts. Shiro didn’t blame him. Even he found the plan crazy. And there was no way it would work on cold Cookie-chan.

“Of course! Have I ever lied to you?”

“There was that time with Shiro’s tattoo. And who ate my chocolate cake. And who stole my boxers and replaced them with women lingerie. Do I have to list more?” For a drunk person who tried to serenade his subordinate in the middle of the night, when criminal ghouls could attack them, Haise could think surprisingly clear if he tried.

“But I didn’t lie about anything important, nii-san! I’d never take your feelings toward Urie-san lighly!”

 

The worst part, noticed Shiro, is that Kuro is honest. He really believes it’s good idea. White haired twin thought that he should stop his brothers, but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had too much fun. And what worse than embarrassment could await them?

 

***

They decided on the song and took place under right window. Luckily, it was on first floor, so Urie would hear them in the quiet of the night. Haise signaled to Uta and tattoo artist started playing the song. Shiro and Kuro, standing few steps behind their brother and a bit to the side, started swaying from left to right in music’s rhythm. Then haise started singing.

 

_We're no strangers to love_

_You know the rules and so do I_

_A full commitment's what I'm thinking of_

_You wouldn't get this from any other guy_

_I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling_

_Gotta make you understand_

 

Twins and Uta had to admit, he was an awful singer. They could only hope Urie wouldn’t kill them for such horrible performance.

 

_Never gonna give you up_

_Never gonna let you down_

_Never gonna run around and desert you_

_Never gonna make you cry_

_Never gonna say goodbye_

_Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you_

 

And shouts started from various windows in the whole building.

“Shut up!”

“Get away, you idiot!”

“STOP SINGING!”

“I’m calling the police!”

“I’m going to kill you!”

But Haise didn’t stop. There still wasn’t reaction from Kukie.

 

The song ended and  Sasaki wanted to start next one, because Urie still didn’t showed in the window. But they were interrupted by sound of police sirens. Before boys knew what was going on, they were surrounded by half of dozen policemen.

“I don’t know them,” explained Uta. “I was just recording what they were doing so, there would be an evidence.”

 

Shiro kept thinking insults at this little traitor as one handsome policeman put handcuffs on him. Well if he was to be manhandled by hot guys in police uniforms. He could forgive Uta.

 

During their ride to police station both, Kuro and Haise fell asleep. So explaining everything was in Shiro’s hands. He hoped his brothers won’t hate him too much for this night.

 

***

Sasaki woke up in the cell a bit confused. He remembered drinking with his brothers and friends in the club. But how did that ended with arrest he had no idea.

“Oh, you are awake. Good.” Shiro appeared in front of him. He and Kuro were the only ones in cell with Haise. “What do you remember?”

“We were at the club. You were dancing. Rest of was were drinking sake,” answered Sasaki. “Nothing else.”

“I don’t remember anything too. I know that after leaving club we went to airport. But I don’t know why. Were we picking someone?”

 

White haired Kaneki started laughing hard.

“This is gold! Thanks God, Uta has everything recorded. You need to see it with you own eyes. But still-“

 

Before he could explain anything more, policemen, the same Shiro noticed at night, appeared at door.

“You are free to go. You, eem, mother bailed you out.”

Brothers rushed outside without thinking. Shiro paused only to press little paper with his number into policemen’s hand.

“Call me sometime soon,” he winked at him and followed his brothers.

 

Akira wasn’t very happy to see them. She had neutral face, but brothers could say she was angry, furious even. She motioned them to get into her car. She took seat in behind the wheel and started driving through Tokio toward borthers’

“Can you explain why when once in a lifetime Haise asks for day off you end arrested for disorderly conduct? And to do what? Harass sexually one of your subordinates, Haise?”

“WHAT?! I did not such a thing.”

“Urie tells otherwise. According to him you called to talk about your desires about what you want to do with his body and then proceed to appear at his house and used indecent songs to get his attention. And interrupt his sleep at the same time.” She barely hid her smirk. Looks like she has fun too, thought Shiro. “You are luck he’s not going to sue you. He just told me about this and demanded I’ll make sure to correct your behavior.

“I-I don’t remember. I was drunk…” Sasaki hid his face in his hands and started muttering something neither twins or Akira could understand.

“That’s not an explanation. There are better ways of flirting than drunk calls. And I have message from Urie to you. He said it’s response to what you said yesterday: I want MY hands around your neck. To choke you – end of message.”

“We know why we were arrested then. Nii-san tried to serenade Urie-san and it didn’t go well to put it mildly. But what were we doing at the airport?” Kuro decided to ask.

After hearing his question Shiro couldn’t stop snickering.

“You want to say you don’t remember sending Shuu-chan to Hawaii to get food for you?” he asked his twin innocently.

“I did-? Huh? When and why?!” Kuro’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, so he did it on your ask then?” Akira was amused. “well, this morning Keade called Arima and asked for help. Looks like Hawaiian side doesn’t want to let go Tsukiyama. The talk about some case from over ten years ago when he visited Honolulu last time. I don’t know details.”

 

Kuro paled hearing those words .

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing ghoul-related. It’s something about marriage Tsukiyama escaped then, but now girl’s father caught him again and doesn’t want to let him go.”

“ _Let it go, let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore! Let it go, let it go! Turn away and slam the door!_ ” Shiro took care of special effects on their conversation. He was definitely better at singing than Haise. “But seriously, what will you do if your prince will get married?”

“He won’t! Don’t joke like that. Tsukiyama-san won’t agree to such a thing like arranged marriage. He won’t do anything he doesn’t want to. He escaped ten years ago, he’ll escape now.”

“Let’s hope for that. I started planning your wedding with him, and don’t want some random girl from Hawaii to ruin my plans. And you are calling him Tsukiyama-san’ again? Yesterday it was ‘Shuu-san’ again and again,” teased Shiro.

Kuro blushed but before he could answer, Akira stopped in front of their house.

“Go and rest, you probably have a massive hangover. Don’t worry about police. You’ll probably will have to pay a penalty, but nothing more. Good thing you didn’t involve Ken in your craziness.”

 

***

Ken woke up in the morning by sounds of his brothers entering house. He didn’t want to move from his warm place in Hide’s arms so he only turned his head to see clock on the nightstand. It showed eleven AM. Black haired boy wondered what his brother were doing whole night, but his boyfriend’s hands tightening around him brought his attention to Nagachika.

 

“Good morning,” smiled blonde.

“Good morning, Hide,” Ken responded with smile. “We should probably get up.”

“Not yet.” Hide nuzzled top of Ken’s head with his nose. “I’m still sleepy. And you are so nice to hug.”

“Fifteen minutes, but no more, okay?” Despite his words black haired boy snuggled closer to Hideyoshi like he didn’t intend to get up at all.

“Okay.” Nagachika kissed Ken’s forehead and closed his eyes. Their legs tangled under the sheets.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rick Astley, everyone! I love this song and its videoclip - it's just epic, you have to admit. Someday it'll be a legend, trust me ;)  
> And yes, I put "Frozen" here - it's little thing from my real life, bc every time I hear "let it go" or its variations in conversation, I start siging THIS in my head! What can I say, it's catching xd.
> 
> Any ideas who might the hot policeman be? Someone from TG universe (somehow xd) for sure :D. Who might be Shiro flirting with soon? And if no one noticed, Shiro is bi in this fic ;) There probably will be some other orientations - I'm not sure if i make it or if there will be an occasion to show it in the fic.


	11. One Soul In Two Bodies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO MONTHS? GODS, I LEFT FOR TWO MONTHS? WHEN?
> 
> I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.
> 
> Really, I have no idea when this time passed... Now my holiday comes to an end and I'm going back to university in three weeks - and then I hope I'll be able to bring myself together. Bc when i have too much free time I become to lazy to do anything productive - as you can see with this unplanned break. I know I keep promising that, but believe me, I mean it.
> 
> This time we have chapter about brothers bonding time! It's shorter thant I wanted, but i decided you waited long enough for update, so I can post it. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Twins and Sasaki did their best to enter house quietly. They didn’t want to wake up Ken and tell him how they ended coming back so late. They reached kitchen and Kuro started preparing the strongest coffee they could make.

 

Broken Haise just sat at the table and stared blankly into space. Amused Shiro watched him for a while, but then he remembered who wnet home with Ken last night. Kuro noticed his twin freezing in place and looked at him questioningly. White haired boy said nothing but dashed outside kitchen and rushed upstairs. His brothers immediately followed him.

 

Shiro didn’t knock on the door to Ken’s room. He tried to open it but found out it was locked. Imagining what tortures he will put Nagachika through  while he was  working on lock. He almost broke it in his hurry.

 

Noise alarmed boys inside the room in time for Hide to jump out of the bed and place himself on armchair with blanket.

 

When three brothers entered they saw Ken slowly waking up in bed and Hideyoshi dozing off on armchair in safe distance from youngest Kaneki. Kuro and Haise looked surprised at the sight of Nagachika in their house, but decided to say nothing. They were too traumatized  after night events to do it. Shiro was a bit disappointed, he wanted to torture Hide a bit.

 

“Hello, Ken-chan, Hide-chan,” he said with innocent smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, Shiro-nii, very. I must’ve drunk too much yesterday, I passed out fast.”

“This armchair is very comfortable.” Hide stretched and flashed his happy grin before standing up. “But I should probably go home now that you came back.”

“Oh, not before breakfast,” decided Kuro. “I was just starting making eggs and you are eating with us.” Hid didn’t leave any room for discussion.

 

Everybody slowly left for kitchen and Shiro choose this moment to stop Hide and ask him few questions.

“I can believe you spent whole night in that armchair and not in Ken-chan’s bed, riiiiiight?”

“Of course. I was here to watch over him, sleeping in the same bed would be indecent,” blond boy was perfect picture of indignation.

“Good,” Shiro smiled and lowered his voice to threatening whisper. “Because if I find out that you are depraving Ken-chan’s virgin mind, I’m going to make you regret. Do you understand?”

Hide only gulped and nodded in agreement. Before he could do anything they heard Kuro’s voice from downstairs.

“Shiro? What are you doing there? Breakfast is almost ready!”

“Going, Kuro!” white haired boy answered happily and went leaving scared for life Hide behind.

 

***

 

Making coffee, checking on Ken and Hide, then making breakfast and taking care of broken Haise were a way for Kuro to not think about Shuu. Black haired half-ghoul tried not to worry. After all, Kanae was already halfway to Honolulu and Arima was helping sort things out with authorities there to make Tsukiyama come back.

 

But that didn’t make him less guilty. After all, it was Kuro who wanted native Hawaiian dish and make Tsukiyama go there. How he could be so drunk to allow that, he couldn’t believe. He wanted to be angry at Shiro for not stopping him, but how could he if no one aside from Kuro knew where Shuu had gone?

 

Now with Ken gone to Anteiku, Shiro in his own room and broken oldest brother who focused on pitying himself, Kuro had nothing to do. He was supposed to spend this day with Shuu, but with him in Hawaii, he obviously couldn’t.

 

To stop thinking about his best friend also known as object of his one-sided love, Kuro decided that he can clean up kitchen shelves. Third time this day. He was in the middle of sorting spices when Shiro appeared in the doorway. He had little centipede crawling up his left forearm . He must’ve been taking care of his breeding.

“For banana’s sake, Kuro! Stop mopping around. Hai-chan wailing about his lost chances for even friendzone with Cookie-chan is enough. I don’t need you in depressed mood. Shuu-chan will be back soon.”

“But what if he’ll have to marry that girl? What if she will force him to do this?”

“For Owl’s sake! Are we talking about the same person? You know, Kuro, Shuu Tsukiyama? Rich young master of Tsukiyama family? One of the most influential families in Japan? Also known as Gourmet?” Shiro lost patience.  “Also your best friends and future boyfriend if you find guts to confess? There so chance he would let himself be lead in some crazy marriage! He was drunk, okay, not mad”

“But…!” Kuro was on the verge of tears now.

“Oh, come on, little brother.” Shiro walked up to his twin and hugged him. “Everything will be alright. Kanae and Chie are working on bringing him back. Also Papa Arima helps them.”

“Sorry.” Kuro wiped his eyes. “I’m just worried.”

“I’m aware. I know you best after all,” grinned Shiro. “Now, we have to take your mind off Shuu-chan. I’d like to do the same with Hai-chan, but he’s lost for now.”

“What do you want to do?” Kuro was wary of white haired boy.

“Nothing much. Let’s go shopping, it’ll help you not think about Shuu-chan. You’ll feel better, I promise!” Shiro squeezed Kuro’s hands.

“…Okay, big brother. Lead the way.”

 

***

 

It was some time since twins spent time alone, just the two of them. It was easier when they were kids and were attending same school and class. Now, with two other brothers in house, different university majors, work and their huge circle of friends it was harder to be alone.

 

But Shiro and Kuro didn’t feel very bad about that. Even without spending time in each other’s company, they were still close. It was well known fact in their big Kaneki-Sasaki ft. Anteiku and CCG family, that twins almost one person – with the way they understood each other and were able to communicate without words it was obvious.

 

Kuro always knew when he should check on Shiro, because white haired boy tended to become obsessed with things he couldn’t  manage to the point when he didn’t pay attention to anything else. He understood twisted way Shiro showed his love and made sure no one would have mistreat him because of that. If someone didn’t know Shiro it was hard to understand him and people easily labeled him as freak. And it was Kuro’s job to take care of his intense twin.

 

Because despite appearances, Shiro was fragile. He loved with passion. He was driven by emotions in everything he did. He was overprotective toward his family and sassy and not caring about what rest of the world might think, but the ones he became close with could destroy him easily. Kuro make sure that never happen.

And Shiro as the older one from the pair always saw himself as Kuro’s  protector. While Shiro was able to fight – he took classes in self-defense and various martial arts – Kuro stayed shy book-worm with weak body and genius mind.  So who could better protect him from bullies than twin brother with black belt in karate?

 

Kuro was, according to Uta, cinnamon roll – too good, too pure for this world.  Shy and quiet, but kind and always smiling. Opposite of Shiro who was feared. But that was a reason why they understood each other so well.

 

So now, to help his twin relax, Shiro took their family car and drove to luxurious mall in first district. With Haise’s credit card in his wallet they could have real fun.

 

***

 

 They sat in nice café sharing a dessert. Kuro ordered double sized couple set of ice creams to share it with Shiro, which in practice turned out to be huge cup of vanilla flavored ice creams with chocolate chips, sliced strawberries, kiwi and  peaches. Shiro asked the waiter to add some sliced banans.

 

“In memory of our lost older brother” he said.

“Nii-san isn’t dead,” chastised Kuro.

“With his current state of mind he might as well be. Did you see him this morning?”

“He’ll be alright. I think he will. I hope so.”

“Me too. I mean, who will be cooking for us if he won’t pull himself together?”

“Shiro!”

“What?” white haired boy grinned. “You and me can at best make sandwiches. Ken-chan can’t make tea to save his life. We can’t go to Anteiku every day.”

“Food isn’t important. Our brother is heartbroken, we have to do something.”

“I beg to differ. Food is very important. For us. Or would you like go hunting with Yomo?”

“Shut up, you jackass,” sighted Kuro, but there was small smile on his face. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“Yeah, sure. Cooki-chan is dead man, don’t worry. Watching Hai-chan make fool of himself was funny. But to have Cookie-chan send police after us and complain about Hai-chan to CCG, that – that is another thing.” Shiro cracked his fingers.

 

They paused when waiter brought their dessert. When he put it on the table even Shiro was surprised. Cup was giant – there was no better word for that enormity. Filled with ice creams and fruits and chocolate. It would be enough to feed a family and twins had it all to themselves.

 

“Let’s dig in, shall we?” said Kuro.

Boys grabbed their spoons and started eating from shared cup. It earned them some strange looks from other patrons, but they didn’t care.

 

“Hey, your side of cup has more bananas! That’s not fair. I wanted them!” complained Shiro.

“You spoiled brat-“ started Kuro, but brother didn’t let him finish.

“How dare you talk back to me? I’m older!”

“Only by fourteen minutes! We are twins, do you know what that means?” Kuro raised his brow.

“It doesn’t matter how much older I am! I still was born first. So, you have to respect me.”

“Okay, okay. Arguing with you is pointless.” Kuro shook his head. “Let’s turn cup, so you can heve your precious bananas.”

“No, you must feed me!” Shiro smiled like little kid. His eye sparkled with mischief.

 

There was a full minute of silence before Kuro responded.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am, little brother! Now, get on with it. Feed. Me,” demanded Shiro.

 

Kuro shook his head with amusement and fulfilled his twin’s wish. Or more like order. He took some of ice creams with slice of banana with spoon and brought it to Shiro’s lips. Happy Shiro opened his mouth without hesitation.

 

Twins could hear whispers from other patrons and people looking at them. Some with distaste, other with uneasiness. Few mothers tried to cover their children’s eyes.

 

After a moment silence, Shiro returned favor to Kuro and fed him with dessert from his side of cup. Whispers and gasps got stronger. Twins still ignored them and Kuro decided he must be more similar to Shiro if he found patrons’ discomfort funny. Shiro simply enjoyed being his normal uncaring, sadistic self.

 

“But, back to nii-san,” Kuro spoke again. “Don’t do anything stupid. We don’t want Urie to report you to authorities.”

“Don’t worry. When I’ll finish him, he won’t be able to talk at all. Or the only thing he’ll say will be Hai-chan’s name” white haired boy answered gleefully.

 

Kuro chuckled.

“Don’t break him too much, okay?”

“Sure, little brother,” said Shiro, but Kuro knew he meant it. Shiro always listened to him, even if didn’t want anything more than go with his crazy plan. “I just make him sorry for rejecting Hai-chan. I won’t do anything irreversible, I promise.”

“Good. Now, what is it about that cop you picked up in jail, huh?” asked Kuro with sly smile on his face.

“Oh, you mean Rio? Well, he’s cute. I don’t know, I gave him my number, but he haven’t called. Yet. I can’t blame him, we saw each other…” Shiro looked at watch on his wrist. “… almost four hours ago. He’s still at work I think. But he’ll call, I’m sure”

“Well, well. Aren’t you charming?”

“No one can resist this face. Mysterious cutie with white hair and eyepatch. It gives this ‘cool vibe’ ant attracts people. It’s given they want me, cause baby, I was born this way” Shiro winked at his twin.

“Could you not? I’m eating.”

“Oh, don’t play hard to get! You love me!” Now Shiro was grinning.

 

Girl at table behind Kuro chocked on her drink.

 

“God help me, I do. And I ask myself every day, why.” Kuro sighted and once again accepted spoon brought to his face by  smiling Shiro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, mysterious cop is Rio - from TG: Jail game. I changed his history obviously - it'll be reavealed later, bc he will make and appearance ^_^
> 
> Aaaand, anyone liked tiny, tiny bits of incest? Twins + incest + yaoi is one of my guilty pleasures xd.
> 
> Until next time (very soon I hope) ;)


	12. Obvious Things Are The Hardest To Spot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no explanation for such a long break so I'd better stay quiet and leave this chapter here quietly...
> 
> This is the grand finale for very short arc of Haise's love life :D
> 
>  
> 
> ...But is it really the end of their story???? I think Shir might have few words to say on the subject xd.

“I’m home!” shouted Sasaki entering the kitchen. He found twins sitting together at the table drinking coffee. His yell made them jump simultaneously.

“Hai-chan, do you want to kill me?” pouted Shiro.

“Nah, I don’t think you’d die so easily. It’s the good guys who do.” Haise ruffled his hair on the way toward fridge.

Shiro pouted and threw himself at Kuro demanding a hug, but he dropped the subject. He was too tired after classes to banter with Sasaki.

Kuro dutifully rubbed his twin’s back. “There, there,” he said. “Nii-san didn’t mean it’s something bad. Just that he knows you are stronger than that.”

Shiro sputtered, but Kuro ignored it and kept rubbing his back, but directed his attention at Sasaki.

“How as work?”  
“Good. We are working at easy case right now. We expect to catch small gang by the end of this week. But it depends on what Mutsuki’s investigation will bring.” Haise opened the fridge and started looking for something to eat before dinner. He picked a banana and turned toward his borthers

“Okaaay. But you know what I’m asking. How was Urie-san?”  
“Cookie-chan doesn’t give you trouble, does he?” added Shiro.  
“He doesn’t, don’t worry, Shiro. And there’s nothing to talk about,” said Sasaki. “He’s a member of Quinx Squad and I’m his superior. We work together and don’t interact much outside work.“  
“Except” pointed Shiro, “you have hots for him.”  
“I don’t! That was…” Sasaki tried to defend himself.  
“Oh, please. Uta-chan has recording of what you said about him and to him, so could you not lie in our faces?”  
“Recordings? What recordings? I didn’t know anyone recorded what happened. Where. Are. They?” Sasaki’s face became as white as Shiro’s hair. Kuro noticed his eye started showing Kakugan.  
“I know nothing!” Shiro jumped from his seat and dashed outside the kitchen.  
“Don’t you John Snow-me! How dare you keep records of my humiliation?” Sasaki dropped his banana on the floor, that was the sign how serious this situation was. Without second thought he started chasing his brother.

***

Almost two weeks have passed since Sasaki made fool of mislef and drunk went to Urie’s house to serenade him. In the meantime Tsukiyama came back from Hawaii with many presents for all of them and of course, he also brought food Kuro demanded – the whole reason of unfortunate trip. Seeing that Kuro burst into tears and Tsukiyama had to talk to him to calm him down.

Everything seemed to go back to normal. After Urie reported the incident to Akira he never mentioned it again. He treated Haise with the same coldness as before and still was very grumpy and seemed permanently angry.

But something was off. Sasaki couldn’t point what exactly. Urie didn’t change his attitude, but on the other side he also didn’t avoid Haise like he did before.

Sasaki didn’t know what to do. Shiro said he ‘had hots’ for Urie, but it wasn’t just that. He was crushing on his subordinate. Hard. He liked how Urie was ambitious and hard-working. How despite being cold toward others he cared about Mutsuki. That despite their arguments he trusted in his own twisted way in their team.

Haise saw all that strength, grace and will and found himself being, at first, interested, then fascinated, and now what? Attracted? Yes, definitely attracted. Urie was beautiful – with his handsome face, dark eyes and sexy moles under left eye. With his slim, but powerful body. Sasaki was ashamed, but he had to admit, that he once o twice had a dream about what he would do to him if they could find a way to his bedroom.

And now he had no idea what was going on. Urie acted the same, yet different. Haise tried to act professional and ignore his attraction, feelings – whatever it was – toward Qiunx, but it wasn’t easy if Urie came to work in black clothes hugging his body in very, very disturbing way. After all, Haise Sasaki wasn’t made of stone.

***

It was Saturday night, a sacred day in Kaneki-Sasaki household. It was day reserved for brothers and family only. Sometimes they invited their closest friends for dinner or organized small parties, but mostly they spent time together – just the four of them.

It was like that this time too. After breakfast they went shopping, what almost ended with disaster when they left Shiro in children section in the supermarket – he tried to buy all stuffed caterpillars he found.

They cooked lunch together and in the late afternoon they started a movies marathon of ‘Star Wars’ – in the name of preparations for ‘Force Awekens’ upcoming premiere.

They were half-way into third movie when there was a loud knock on the door. Angry Shiro stood up to answer that and tell whoever it was go away because no one interrupts him when Anakin is being brought to the Dark Side. But he was stopped by Haise, who stood up faster.

“Stay, I’ll go get it.” He waved his hand and went.

He opened the door and froze shocked. Never in his life he was so surprised as now, when he saw furious Kukie Urie at their doorstep.

“Urie? Something happened?” Haise tried to act normal and not show that he was freaking out on the inside. Urie being here could meant only that something happened to Quinx, but why didn’t anyone call him? His mind started creating scenarios about possible accidents and misfortunes.

“You. You happened,” growled Urie taking a step toward Haise and forcing him to step back into the house. “I had it under control, you know? I decided I’ll be able to ignore this feeling. But you had to get drunk and say those, those… things. How was I supposed to stay calm after that? With all those visions you gave me?” He had to pause to take a breath, but didn’t let Sasaki speak. “And later it was even worse. You did nothing!”  
“You reported me to Akira-san! How could I do something?”  
“You idiot, how could I not report? If the rumors have started what would people say about me? Or about you? Of course I couldn’t let that slide. But. But that doesn’t explain why you acted like nothing happened.” The look in his eye changed as if he realized something. “Or maybe for you nothing happened. It was just you being drunk and didn’t mean it.” He didn’t ask.

Urie took a step back. They didn’t notice that Quinx had cornered Haise to the wall. They also didn’t notice Kaneki brothers hiding behind the doorframe and watching them – Shiro with smirk promising Urie hell later on his face, Kuro with amusement mixed with disbelief and Ken with confusion.

“Of course I meant it. Every word. I thought you didn’t want-” Haise explained, but Kukie interrupted him again.  
“Believe me, if I didn’t want, you wouldn’t be able to even stand. I would make sure you’d never make an offer like that anymore.” He again took a step forward and brought his face close to Haise’s. “So? Take responsibility,” he demanded.  
“Okay,” was all Haise said before leaning forward and kissing Urie.

It was hot and hungry kiss. The things Urie did with his tongue almost made Sasaki’s knees weak. Only because of his will he remained standing.  
“Bedroom,” he panted when they parted. Urie only nodded and let Haise lead him upstairs.

When the couple disappeared, three brothers looked at themselves. Shiro first broke the silence.  
“So who would like to visit mum? I don’t feel like watching movies anymore.”

***

In the morning Haise woke up with the feeling of being observed. He opened his eyes and saw Kukie watching him. They were sleeping together facing each other, with Urie’s hand on Haise’s waist and their legs tangled under the sheets. Sometime during the night they lost their shirts, but Kukie was now in his boxers and Haise was wearing sweatpants he usually sleep in.

“Good morning,” murmured Sasaki sleepily.   
“Good morning.” Urie didn’t stop watching him with an expression Haise couldn’t read.  
“So,” started Haise. “What are we now?” He felt stupid asking like that, but he had to know. Last night was amazing. He never felt like that. It was like there was fire inside him, burning and flowing in his veins and he just wanted more and more and the only source of that fire was now lying next to him.

They didn’t go all the way – Haise knew that Urie despite acting confident, was nervous. For now, just kissing and touching was enough for them. 

But he didn’t want just that. He wanted everything. In the right time. And only if Urie wanted too. Otherwise, it was pointless.

“I thought it was obvious. I’m not sleeping with everyone I lust for, who do you think I am? I thought you had a serious relationship in mind when you asked me to let you put your hands on my ass. You wanted to come close to me. So, I’m allowing it,” said Kukie.  
“Okay. Good. Okay.” Haise was a bit overwhelmed. He couldn’t believe it was happening.  
“Huh, not so good with words I see. I think I prefer you in your Dove-mode.” Urie smirked and then got up, but only to tower above Haise and strangle his tights.

Haise met him half-way with his lips.

“Oh now,” he froze when they broke apart. Urie looked at him questioningly. “My brothers. They… They were in the next room, when you… When we…”

Urie, understanding what Sasaki meant, paled. There was a look of pure horror in his eyes. After all, he remembered well, what twins did to him last time, when they thought Kukie wasn’t good enough to Haise.

Looks like before I’ll be able to take him to our first date, I’ll have to make sure he won’t be killed, thought Haise and fell down on his bed with sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urie is so OOC, I'm crying... I'm sorry for that.
> 
> Fun facts: this chapter was going to be a reason to upgrade this fic to M-rate, but I changed my mind - I planned a hot smut scene for Sasaki-Urie, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I'm not a big fan of going to bed on first date/right after love conffesion, so I couldn't write it in a way I was satisfied. So, there is a little of kissing and petting (sorry that it's off screen, I do better next time).  
> Aaand, if we are talking abut smut - I'll probably make another fic in OLIC-verse and turn it into a two-part series - M-rated one, full of just all couple in their alone time <3\. But that only after OLIC is finished.
> 
> And, the number of chapters might change - for now I think it'll take me about 8 to finish all plots planned for m dear boys, but it may become longer ;)
> 
> Comments, please?


	13. New Girl In Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *quietly leaves the chapter and runs away before readers start yelling at me*
> 
> As always late, without unnecessary talking, here's the chapter. It's nothing much, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any more.

The winter came and went leaving behind only puddles of water from melted snow. Days passed lazily as the weather was getting warmer.

It was a nice Tuesday afternoon when Kuro had his shift at Anteiku. Ken and Hide were also there to grab coffee after boring lecture. Kirishima siblings were supposed to leave hours ago, but they decided to wait for their father to come from work and pick them up.

“Shiro-nii just called,” Ken appeared at the counter to take cookies from Irimi. “He demands The Brothers’ Night to happen tonight and is already shopping for drinks and food.”

“Sure, tell him I want pizza. But I thought he was meeting with Rio,” Kuro was confused.

Shiro and Rio were… something. No one was sure what exactly, because white haired twin never confirmed they are dating. He took Rio to their weekly meetings at the café with the rest of their big family, but didn’t introduce him as boyfriend.

No one beside Kuro knew, that is. Twins couldn’t hide anything from each other even if they wanted. So Kuro was aware what was going on, but if Shiro didn’t feel like telling anyone, his twin wouldn’t be the one say anything.

If anything, Kuro had a lot of fun observing how everyone around were freaking out, because did it mean Shiro fell in love? Their Shiro? Their cute, overprotective little psycho? If Kuro didn’t find it so much funny, he would point out that Rio was actually fifteen years old and working at that police station only part-time, because ghouls were treated differently when hiring. But it looked like Shiro found his family’s reaction amusing, so he didn’t say anything for his purpose.

“He said Rio-kun has to study and that reminds me… Ayato-kun” Ken looked at Kirishima,”Rio-kun is asking if your study session is still on the map.”  
“Crap, I forgot.” Ayato stood abruptly. “Sorry, nee-chan, I have to go”  
“Sure. Yeah, bye.” Touka didn’t even look up from her phone. Kuro could bet his monthly salary she was texting Yoriko if the blush on her cheeks was anything to go by.

The café quieted, Ken went back to Hide and Kuro focused on polishing the counter. They and Touka were the only one present, Irimi disappeared in the back to take a break.

The silence was interrupted few minutes later when a bell above the door chimed. Kuro looked that way only to see a beautiful young women. She had long, purple hair in a shade similar to Tsukiyama’s. Glasses in a simple frames were adoring her eyes. She smiled at Kuro and then proceeded to sit at the table near Ken and Kide.

Black haired twin immediately went to her.  
“Welcome, to Anteiku. Here’s our menu.” He put the thin book with Anteiku’s name on the cover in front of her.  
“There’s no need. I’d like a black coffee.” She sent him soft smile again.  
“Of course. It’ll be ready in a moment”

Kuro started making coffee while observing the woman in the corner of his eye. She took a book form her purse and started reading. It was Takatsuki’s novel, he noticed. Ken was such a big fan of her works, that all Kaneki brothers knew their titles and plots. 

Kuro brought her a cup of coffee and went back to counting down minutes left until his shift ended. He hated afternoons like that when Anteiku was empty and he was bored.

At one moment, Hid stood up and went to the rest room. The woman waited until he disappeared before going to Ken.  
“Hello,” she greeted him with a voice as soft as her smile. It made Kuro very suspicious.  
“Um, hello?” Ken wasn’t sure what to think about this situation.  
“Forgive me for interrupting, but I noticed your book.” She gestured to the novel lying in front of Ken. “Takatsuki is my favorite author, but you can rarely meet someone young who would appreciate her works.”  
“That’s so true!” Ken got excited. “None of my friends read her books. My brothers did, but they aren’t big fans of her. Shiro-nii says he can’t read it and not remember what kind of person Sen-san is in real life. Knowing both of her sides freaks him out, but he’ll never admit that.”  
“You know Takatsuki-sensei in person?” the woman’s eyes grew big in surprise behind the glasses. “I envy you so much.”  
“Oh, um, I mean… She’s kind of family friend. But I met her after reading the books, so it was like dream coming true.” Ken blushed a bit and Kuro couldn’t believe his shy little brother was so talkative with a stranger.  
“I can imagine that. Being able to meet someone who shares your interests is also-“ the rest of the sentence was cut when the door opened.

Shiro entered the café with grin on his face. He waved his hand at Kuro and went straight to Ken’s table. Only when he came near it, he noticed the girl.  
“Ken-chan! Hello!” He ruffled his little brother’s hair and sat on the chair next to him. “Oh, I don’t know you. Who are you?” He focused on the girl.  
“Rize Kamishiro, nice to meet you.” She smiled at Shiro, but he didn’t return the gesture.  
“I’m Ken Kaneki,” Ken hurried with his own introduction. “and this is my brother, Shiro.”  
“You are very similar to each other. Does it men, that the barista is your brother too?”  
“Yeah, my twin,” Shiro kept watching her with some kind of strange seriousness Kuro haven’t seen in him in a long time.  
“Oh, what a coincidence, to meet you all here,” Rize didn’t look bothered, she was still smiling softly. “Say, Kaneki-kun, would you like to go out with me sometime? I’d love to talk with you more. About books or something else. Who knows, maybe we share more interests?”  
“No, he wouldn’t like.” Now Shiro was smiling, but it was his smirk, that screamed ‘danger’ to anyone who saw it.  
“I think Kaneki-kun is able to talk for himself.” She sent a glare toward Shiro, but after a second directed her kind smile at Ken. “What would you say?”  
“I, um, I’m sorry, but I have to decline.” Ken almost bowed to her, he was so nervous.

No one noticed Hide coming back from the restroom. Blond boy stood awkwardly behind Rize and observed the scene in front of him. Kuro did the same from his place behind the counter.

“Oh, dear. Are you scared of your brother? Is he abusing you in any way” Rize asked with concern.  
“Wha-? No, no.” Ken was shocked. “I just, um, I mean…” he looked around helplessly.  
“He has a boyfriend, so he will not go on a date with a ghoul he wants to eat him. Better luck next time, sweetheart.” Shiro couldn’t stay calm any longer.

Dead silence that engulfed the room was so suffocating, Kuro started to fear if he’s gone deaf. Shiro and Rize were looking at each other. Touka stopped Testing Yoriko to watch them. Hide finally got to Ken’s side and put a hand on youngest Kaneki’s shoulder to calm him down. The boy was close to panic.

“I see,” Rize stated calmly, unaffected. “Well, sorry to bother you, Kaneki-kun. Looks like I’ll have to look for a dinner somewhere else.”  
“I propose another ward, or better, another city,” growled Shiro. “Stay away from Anteiku.”

Rize cocked her head and smiled serenely at white haired twin.  
“I can’t promise anything. After all, Yoshimura-san is a dear friend of mine.” She stood up and turned toward the door. “See you soon, Shiro-chan.”

Kuro could only watch for the first time that his twin was left speechless and hope that this new ‘acquitance’ won’t turn into a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. I'm not promising next chapter - with mu current state of mind it could be next week or next year - both options are possible.
> 
> I can only promise that even if this work is left for months, I WILL finish it. i don't leave my fic unfinished after i start posting them, so please, be patient. I'm aware there are people waiting for continuation, but life happened to me and I'm not able to spent as much time writing as I would want to. And there's also a fact that I spend less and less time in manga/anime fandoms.
> 
> This story started as a radnom idea I had in the middle of night. Beside few headcanons about relationship between borthers i had nothing else planned. And sometimes I'm struggling to even find out what should happen in this fic. but yeah, TG and this fic is important to me so I'll write it - I can say that I already know for sure what will happen in final chapter ;)


	14. Leaving Kids Alone Is A Bad Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no explanation why it took me so long to update and probably nothing I say will make you forgive me anyway, so I'm just going to live chapter 14 here quietly.
> 
> Unbeta-ed, so sorry in advance for all typos/grammar errors etc.

The news of Haise leaving for a mission outside Tokyo was a bad and good news at the same time. Bad, because it meant the rest of brothers would be deprived of  food made by the best cook  among them . Good, because in the oldest brother’s absen c e they could run free. The good side outweighed the bad; as Shiro said, they could always order a take out.

 

That was the explanation of how Shiro, Kuro and Ken threw a party in their house. Almost all their friends and acquaintances came – the only people who didn’t were on the same mission as Haise.

 

There were Uta and Yomo trying to take control of food that came along with guests. Hide was recounting to Nishio and his girlfriend a story of something that happened to him recently, while gesturing wildly with his hands. Touka and Ayato were arguing whether using game console was appropriate at the party. Yoriko tried to calm them down, but without success. Kuro wat c hed them  as he set some music to play in the background and wondered why Touka even bothered; as soon as Hinami would appear in the door, Ayato would forget about games.

 

Tsukishima and Chie were going through Haise’s books lined on massive bookshelves. Ken was with them recommending his favorite titles. Shiro was standing at the top of the stairs, looking around like king at his kingdom.

 

Soon, Hinami joined them and Ayato, much to Kuro’s surprise didn’t leave the console, but pulled Hinami toward the TV to play a game together. Angry Touka stomped away with giggling Yoriko following her.

 

It was nice night, filled with fun and laughter. Or, it was until the youngest in their group left. When Kirishimas, Yoriko and Hinami said their goodbyes, Shiro turned to the rest with devilish grin. That was when Kuro realized whatever was going to happen won’t end well.

 

“How about a friendly game of truth or dare?”

 

Everyone turned to him with well deserved suspicion. Shiro never did anything without intent.

 

“This could be fun!” Shuu recovered first, always eager to join in crazy ideas. Kuro wished Chie would sop him sometimes, but he believed she had the most fun watching Shuu making an idiot of himself.

 

“See? Shuu-chan knows how to haw fun. What about the rest of you?” Shiro looked at his twin with glee aware that Kuro will follow Tsukiyama.

 

Everyone agreed, although with some reluctance. They sat around the coffee table, fitting on sofas and armchairs.

 

“Okay~ I go first since it was my idea!” Shiro exclaimed happily, grabbing an empty beer bottle from somewhere. Without any protests from others he placed it in the middle of table and spun it. Kuro let out a breath of relief when it landed on Nishiki.

 

The game started innocently for the most part. Some questions were silly and the dares were embarassing. Among other things, Uta was dared by Chie to eat whole apple without throwing up and Ken was asked by Kimi who would he want to be stranded with on a desert island. That question caused brief tension when both twins looked sharply between themselves, Hide and their youngest brother.

 

Ken saved himself and his boyfriend by choosing Haise. Neither Shiro or Kuro could blame him.

 

The game rolled so smoothly, that Kuro relaxed and let his guard go down. Of course that was what Shiro was waiting for. When bottle, spun by Hide landed on Kuro, Shiro immediately leaned toward Nagachika and whispered something to him.

 

Hide looked at Shiro with surprise, but nodded. “Truth or dare, Kuro-san?”

 

Kuro considered his options. No matter which he choose, it would end with him embarrassed. The only question was, which way it would be worse. Finally, he decided that it would be better to answer whatever stupid question his brother thought of.

 

“Truth,” he tried to sound nonchalant.

 

“Are you in love with someone in this room?” Hide looked nervous about asking that and he wasn’t even looking at Kuro.

 

The room became quiet and still, safe for Uta and Chie doing a dramatic “Ooooooh” in the background.

 

Kuro himself wanted to murder his twin in cold blood. This was betrayal and Shiro was going to pay for this. Hide too, but his punishment would be lesser as he was only following Shiro.

 

He could lie, but there was a chance Shiro would call him on that. And if, if he was to confess some day, then it would be twice as awkward if he was now to say he wasn’t.

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

There was chaos. Ken asked shocked “Wait, WHAT?”, Chie was grinning at him knowingly, Shiro grinned smugly too. Shuu was sitting frozen with surprise and Kuro didn’t know what to think about that.

 

Some part of him hoped he was obvious enough for Shuu to pick up about who he was talking about. But if he didn’t then maybe Kuro was spared some embarrassment. But that shocked expression didn’t bode well either way.

 

“Who is it? I need to know!” Kimi was so excited she almost started jumping in her place on sofa.

 

“I answered the question!” Kuro protested. “Now is my turn.” He tried to calm himself and focus on spinning the bottle. It landed on Shiro.

 

Perfect, he thought.

 

“Truth or dare, brother dearest?” Kuro asked in a sweet voice making sure Shiro know this was his punishment. First part at least.

 

“Truth.” Shiro didn’t stop grinning for a second.

 

“Was it you who multiple love letters to Hirako signing them with Yomo-san’s name?

 

It was a bit funny to watch Shiro’s face become as white as his hair. No one said anything, but everyone could feel sudden dark aura surrounding Yomo in the armchair he sat quietly.

“Y-yeah, that was me! It was just a small prank.” Shiro’s grin looked like a mask right now, but he sounded pretty sure of himself. He leaned forward for the bottle when Yomo said:

 

“I won’t interrupt our game now, but we are going to talk, Shiro-kun.”

 

“As you wish, Yomo-san!” he spun the bottle. It stopped on Shuu.

 

No, no, no, no, Kuro chanted in his head. He seriously considered hitting the coffee table with his head. If he did it hard enough, he’d pass out and be spared. There was no way Shiro didn’t go for revenge on Kuro.

 

“Now~ Shuu-chan~! Truth or dare?”

 

“I’m choosing the truth. I have nothing to hide from my friends!”

 

“Perfect! Is the person’s you are in love with last name ‘Kaneki’?” Kuro was going to murder him in his sleep. Or better, he was going to tie him down and make him watch as Kuro released all of his pet insects. Only then he was going to kill him.

 

“Pardon? I, uh- I-I… Ah, t-that’s-” Shuu was sputtering while everyone watched in various state of interest.

 

Chie was bored, Yomo looked sympathetic, Uta and Nishio were amused. Hide and Kimi looked excited about the new development. Only Ken looked like he had no idea what was going on.

 

“Well?” Shiro inquired.

 

Shuu took a deep breath, glanced at Kuro nervously before focusing his eyes on Shiro.

 

“Yes, he’s last name is Kaneki.”

 

Silence again. It was like their game had only two modes: complete chaos and shocked silence.

 

Kuro had enough of everyone playing with his feelings.

 

“That’s enough. I don’t feel like playing anymore.” Without waiting for anyone’s reply he got up and stormed out of the room.

 

Minute later he was face down on his bed cursing his twin, his own life and stupid party games. Only then he realized Shuu had maybe, kind of confessed to him and he run away.

 

“This is some goddamn tragedy. My life is a tragedy,” he cried into his pillow.

 

And then he hear a knock on his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, here's some progress on TsukiKane! i wanted to have them resolved in this chapter, but then I decided this was the terfect place to end the chapter so, there will be a big talk next time!
> 
> (Two talks to be precise, because Yomo has some things to say to Shiro about meddling with people's love lives... I swear to God, that boy wants well, but not always does it in a right way)


End file.
